Some argue that music is served as a way for individuals to reduce stress and anxiety. Do what extend do you agree or disagree?
Music
mainly
usedAdd a missing verb
is mainly
a
way for Change preposition
as a
people
to reduce stress
and anxiety
. I partially agree with this
statement, there are also
many factors which are music
served.
On the one hand, music
can help people
to overcome stress
and anxiety
. There are many calm and motivational musics
which are very helpful for Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
people
to reduce depression and anxiety
. For example
, most people
overcome stress
and angry
when these Replace the word
anger
people
listen
quiet and relaxing Add the preposition
listen to
musics
. Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
Additionally
, for some people
Add a comma
people,
music
is therapy for
reduce Change preposition
to
stress
and to helpful
to feel Replace the word
help
relaxing
. Replace the word
relaxed
Therefore
, music
is very
important factor Add an article
a very
to reduce
depression and Change preposition
in reducing
angry
.
Replace the word
anger
On the other hand
, music
is also
used for happy moments
. When people
happy
, they want to Add a missing verb
are happy
listen
Add the preposition
listen to
musics
and dance. Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
For instance
, music
served a
way for wedding days, Change preposition
as a
night clubs
and entertaining places to feel happy and Correct your spelling
nightclubs
lifting
Wrong verb form
lift
people
's mood
. Fix the agreement mistake
moods
Moreover
, people
always listen
Add the preposition
listen to
music
when they want to create memorable and good moments
with someone. Music
can remind people's
good memories. Change preposition
people of
Therefore
, music
can be used for happy and enjoyable moments
.
In conclusion, there are several significant reasons why music
serves as a way for people
to overcome the
depression and Correct article usage
apply
anxiety
. Music
can helpful and vital factor when people
experience stress
and anxiety
. However
, there are several things and occasions which
Change preposition
in which
music
is used for good and enjoyable moments
. Music
is also
important for create
memorable and good Change the verb form
creating
moments
.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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task achievement
Ensure to expand on each point with more detailed explanations and mature examples. You have good ideas, but more depth and breadth of examples can enhance your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Improve the unity by enhancing the transitions between your points. This will make your essay more coherent, leading to a seamless flow of thought from one idea to another.
language use
Try to vary your sentence structures and use more complex sentences to make the essay more engaging and sophisticated.
task achievement
You've effectively highlighted the dual role of music in both stress relief and in celebratory contexts, which shows a strong understanding and insight into the topic.
coherence cohesion
There's a strong introduction and a clear conclusion, which structures the essay well. You've made your stance clear and revisited it in the conclusion, ensuring clarity.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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