Some people think individuals are more and more dependent on each other. Some people think individuals are more and more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In an age when
independence
is considered a virtue, Use synonyms
people
are inclined to believe that their Use synonyms
independence
is constantly growing. Use synonyms
However
, in my view, the ostensible Linking Words
independence
in modern society is more of an Use synonyms
illusion
. In reality, the connection between individuals has never been so close and it continues to strengthen.
Before expounding the seemingly counterintuitive perspective, I would like to explain why the Use synonyms
illusion
of Use synonyms
independence
pervades in our society. The primary reason for Use synonyms
this
feeling is the progressively mature capitalist society, where we exchange labour production through the intermediation of currency. Linking Words
This
production mode offers us a misconception that I earn everything for myself without depending on others. Linking Words
For example
, my sister has operated a flower shop, for which she used to purchase advertisement services from private companies. Linking Words
However
, after learning PS, she did not need the companies, and she excitedly said the development of technology contributes to our Linking Words
independence
.
Is Use synonyms
this
the truth? At least from my perspective, Linking Words
this
Linking Words
independence
is merely a seductive Use synonyms
illusion
, as we confuse economic Use synonyms
independence
with general Use synonyms
independence
. The former means, like my sister, Use synonyms
people
use their legitimate income to purchase what they need, Use synonyms
on the contrary
, the latter points to that Linking Words
people
can achieve their goals without any collaboration. Use synonyms
This
is clearly not true when you realise that under the Linking Words
illusion
of individual Use synonyms
independence
is a complex global net of indirect cooperation. Still, take my sister as an example. The software which has granted her "Use synonyms
independence
" is a product of Adode, a multinational company where over 2,000 employees collaborate with each other to develop new functions or maintain the operation of their products. In light of Use synonyms
this
, the so-called Linking Words
independence
is undoubtedly the result of dependence, though indirect.
In summary, the development of social division makes Use synonyms
people
's dependence increasingly present in the reliance on the products of collaboration, rather than direct cooperation. Use synonyms
Although
Linking Words
this
phenomenon might to some degree produce the Linking Words
illusion
of Use synonyms
independence
, it does not extinguish the fact that Use synonyms
people
are progressively dependent upon each other.Use synonyms
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clarity-advice
Clarify and distinguish between 'economic independence' and 'general independence' more distinctly to minimize potential confusion for the reader.
example-advice
Include a wider variety of examples to reinforce the argument that individuals are increasingly dependent on one another.
structure-highlight
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay.
argument-highlight
The essay presents a strong and logical argument about the illusion of independence.
example-highlight
The use of the sister's flower shop example effectively illustrates the main point about economic and general independence.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite