Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There is no doubt that living in large
cities
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comes with many consequences.
While
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some believe that has a detrimental impact on
health
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, others find it beneficial. In my opinion, living in big
cities
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has positive and negative aspects.
To begin
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with, the urban
cities
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are considered to be the most
pollutated
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polluted
cities
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due to
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the traffic there and the private
factories
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factories'
factory's
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actions.
In other words
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,
this
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pollution can have a significant negative influence on people’s
health
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,
such
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as
a
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apply
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cancer.
Furthermore
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, the increase in
live
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living
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expenses there might lead to mental
health
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issues, like anxiety and depression.
For example
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,
Oxford
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an Oxford
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study in 2023
releaved
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revealed
that 56% of individuals suffer from psychological
problem
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problems
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due to
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the living costs of urban
cities
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.
On the other hand
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, large
cities
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provide people with several
approporiate
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appropriate
job opportunities, which can improve their living standards.
Conseqently
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Consequently
,
this
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can have a positive
imapct
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impact
on their mental
health
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, as they will be able to live a good life.
Moreover
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, various facilities are provided in those
cities
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,
such
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as gyms, parks, and gaming
centers
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centres
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, enabling them to relax and spend
a
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apply
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quality time with their friends and family, which in turn
foster
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fosters
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their
happiens
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happiness
happens
.
For instance
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, people in Melbourne are
more
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apply
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happier than those who live in rural areas, as the BBC
documantary
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documentary
showed. In conclusion, there are advantages and
disadvanges
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disadvantages
for
health
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when living in big
cities
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, as they can enhance
the
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apply
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mental
health
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while
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they
also
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may lead to serious
disease
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diseases
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.
However
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, I find living in these
cities
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is more beneficial for
overall
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health
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.

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coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, try to better connect your ideas between paragraphs and within them. Use linking phrases such as 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' to signal the relationship between ideas more clearly.
task response
Ensure that the conclusion summarizes both the positives and negatives more clearly. Restating your overall opinion at the end will provide clarity.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples that directly support your main arguments to enhance your task achievement.
content
The essay presents a balanced view of the topic, discussing both the positive and negative aspects of living in big cities.
structure
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and your stance, setting a good foundation for the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban environment
  • respiratory issues
  • pollution
  • fast-paced lifestyle
  • noise pollution
  • health facilities
  • mental health
  • physical activities
  • nature contact
  • health problems
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