Write about the following topic: Some people believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other at work, at school and in daily life. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #people #work #school #life

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In my opinion,

this

competition can be both wrong and well. Some argue that competition drives progress and individual excellence,

while

others believe that cooperation fosters a more

support

Replace the word

supportive

show examples

and effective environment. In

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will discuss both viewpoints and provide my own perspective. Some people suggest that it is a powerful motivation for work. When you are

Change preposition

show examples

the workspace, competition can lead a higher productivity. As for students, it

Submitted by oanastasia974 on Thu Oct 24 2024

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task achievement

The essay should be completed to fully address the prompt, including a conclusion to summarize the viewpoint and provide a clear stance on the topic.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the introduction by clearly stating your stance on the subject. The phrase 'this competition can be both wrong and well' is vague and should be clarified.

task achievement

Incorporate specific examples or experiences to illustrate points more vividly. This makes the argument more compelling and concrete.

coherence cohesion

The logical flow should be improved by clearly linking ideas and providing transitions between sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

The essay acknowledges both sides of the argument, which demonstrates the ability to consider multiple perspectives.

coherence cohesion

The writing attempts to introduce the topic and set up a discussion for both viewpoints.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

72 words

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