Write about the following topic: Some people believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other at work, at school and in daily life. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In my opinion,
this
competition can be both wrong and well. Some argue that competition drives progress and individual excellence,
while
others believe that cooperation fosters a more
support
Replace the word
supportive
show examples
and effective environment. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will discuss both viewpoints and provide my own perspective. Some people suggest that it is a powerful motivation for work. When you are
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the workspace, competition can lead a higher productivity. As for students, it
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task achievement
The essay should be completed to fully address the prompt, including a conclusion to summarize the viewpoint and provide a clear stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the introduction by clearly stating your stance on the subject. The phrase 'this competition can be both wrong and well' is vague and should be clarified.
task achievement
Incorporate specific examples or experiences to illustrate points more vividly. This makes the argument more compelling and concrete.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow should be improved by clearly linking ideas and providing transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay acknowledges both sides of the argument, which demonstrates the ability to consider multiple perspectives.
coherence cohesion
The writing attempts to introduce the topic and set up a discussion for both viewpoints.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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