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Writing Samples
Band 6

In today's distil age, anyone with a smart phone can capture and share photographs. This accessibility to photography demolishes the value of professional photographer to extend to agree or disagree.

#age #anyone #phone #photographs #accessibility #photography #demolishes #value #photographer
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Photographs are one of the best ways to save memories. In
this
Linking Words
 digital age, the pervasiveness of smartphones passionate human beings to capture pictures and
due to
Linking Words
 the importance of the professional domain remain less popular. I partially agree with
this
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 statement and my viewpoint will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs. First and foremost, ease of accessibility is one of the primary reasons every second person has their personal mobiles with superior HD
cameras
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, it diminishes the need
of hiring
Change preposition
to hire
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professionals or visit studios to get photos.
As
Correct your spelling
A
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 photoholic person
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
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 the picturesque views with the aid of high-quality
cameras
Use synonyms
 integrated into the smartphone. To illustrate , here is an instance of a Survey conducted by the Global Market of Technology [GMOT] that approximately 90% of sales of iPhones are
due to
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an
Correct article usage
apply
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excellent megapixel
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cameras
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
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, a plethora of paid or unpaid editing apps and software are available for download on the Apple store.
Moreover
Linking Words
, various sorts of visual effects and filters turn the basic portrait into a stunning view.
This
Linking Words
 advancement is able to reduce the perceived need for highly qualified cameramen.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, market saturation is
also
Linking Words
 the reason behind giving less publicity to the highly qualified studios.
As millions
Correct word choice
Millions
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 of people share their amateur photography on social apps like Instagram or TikTok.
This
Linking Words
 leads to a challenging situation for skilled photojournalists to stay in the market as their competitors can provide cheap offers or even free.
However
Linking Words
, there would be no comparison for a professional eye on storytelling, lightning,
composition
Correct word choice
and composition
show examples
 often lacks in casual photo takings . Artistic vision can capture the emotions and the theme of the snap.
For instance
Linking Words
, cinematographers are hired at weddings that make diligent video clips including the bride and groom's family members.
Consequently
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, regardless of different online tools or superb
cameras
Use synonyms
, professional photographers differ from others
due to
Linking Words
 the extraordinary imagining power that they use in their work.
Overall
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, undoubtedly experienced photographers come with a unique presentation of snaps and movies but I still believe that the accessibility of owning a phone diminishes the value of hiring renowned visual artists.
Submitted by sarabjeetk8899 on

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task achievement
Try to clarify the distinction between casual photography and professional photography more clearly. You explain why smartphones are popular, but expanding on how professionals offer something unique could strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Include more specific examples of situations where professional photographers' skills are irreplaceable.
coherence cohesion
Enhance transitions to ensure each paragraph flows smoothly from one to the next. While the essay has a good structure, more cohesive devices could help in guiding the reader through your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main points well.
logical structure
You have organized your main ideas into separate paragraphs, which enhances readability.
relevant specific examples
Your use of statistics, such as the survey about iPhone sales, adds depth to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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