In some countries, the difference in age between parents and children is generally greater than it was in the past. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
The age gap between
parents
and children
, these days, is almost bigger than ever all over the world. Generally, I suppose that these huge gaps between parents
and their children
will cause too many traumas among them, but I will try to explain pros
and cons in the following sentences.
As we know, our generation has less free time than in the past. Plus, because of the educational system and finding jobs Correct article usage
the pros
afterward
, it is hard for men and women to marry each other Change the spelling
afterwards
in
their younger ages like their ancestors. Well, these reasons Change preposition
at
caused
people to tend to get married in Wrong verb form
cause
their
fourth decade of their life.
On one hand, Change the pronoun
the
this
attitude has some advantages, like every behavioral
preference. Change the spelling
behavioural
Firstly
, the root of this
tendency to bring children
later in life is that people have higher standards for their family, and they want to provide them the best possible situation of living. Whereas
just in the previous generation, they only wanted to bring children
without acknowledging its consequences, no matter what would happen in their future life. Obviously, in this
era, children
and families are more satisfied than before because they were
almost ready Wrong verb form
are
for taking
responsibility Change preposition
to take
to bring
another human into the world. Change preposition
for bringing
Secondly
, some research has shown that bringing children
for
Change preposition
to
parents
after their 30s has an important effect on children
's mental health.
On the other hand
, we know that it is really vital for parents
to have a chance to see their possible grandchildren. While these
days Correct word choice
These
this
opportunity has been diminishing gradually among parents
, which can bring some anxiety itself
to men and women who are watching their lovely Correct pronoun usage
apply
children
getting older at the same time their chance to see their grandchildren is vanishing. Besides
, due to
reasons that I mentioned previously, the number of children
that parents
can bring is limited, thus
the population is slowly going to be old and it has its danger for every society that wants to progress.
In conclusion, while
there are some advantages to increasing age gaps between parents
and their children
, the challenges that this
attitude brings are more dangerous for our future as humans.Submitted by reza.roozafzay92 on
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task achievement
Include a variety of examples or specific data to illustrate your points more vividly. This can help strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph develops one main idea. At times, multiple ideas seem to be packed into a single paragraph, which can disrupt the reader's focus.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and gives a general perspective on it, setting a clear direction for the essay.
task achievement
You have clearly addressed both sides of the argument, listing solid advantages and disadvantages of larger age gaps.
logical structure
The essay follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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