IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people suggest that social networking and online communication have increased social isolation. In what ways do you think this has happened? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #communication #isolation #answers
Some argue that social media and digital communication have caused the
enhancing
Replace the word
enhancement
show examples
 of social isolation.
While
 these technologies allow us to connect with family and friends abroad through various apps, I think they
also
 raise concerns about how virtual
interactions
 affect our relationships and well-being.
This
 shift has led to feelings of loneliness and superficial connections.
Firstly
,
due to
 the advent of the internet, people have forgotten to appreciate the small things in life
such
 as spending time with their loved ones and how to socialize with them, since they only rely on digital platforms that promote brief
interactions
 that often lack depth.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 those exchanges may be frequent, they do not provide the emotional support found in face-to-face conversations.
As a result
, individuals may feel alone, despite having numerous online
interactions
.
Secondly
, the convenience of virtual
interactions
 has discouraged people from pursuing in-person exchanges. As messaging and social media become the main form of communication, opportunities for meaningful conversations decrease.People often choose to send quick texts rather than
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 calls or
visiting
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
 friends and family abroad, resulting in missed opportunities to form deeper connections.
This
 shift can leave relationships feeling less authentic and emotionally fulfilling. In conclusion,
whereas
 social networks and digital communication help us connect, they can
also
 foster isolation and shallow bonds. The preference for quick online encounters often diminishes meaningful dialogues, transforming family dynamo and friendships.
Submitted by acaitaz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to include more specific examples or personal experiences to substantiate your points, making the essay more relatable and grounded.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates back to the central argument to maintain consistent relevance throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the main argument of the essay, clearly stating the subject and summarizing your points.
coherence cohesion
Logical progression of ideas is maintained throughout the essay, with clear connections between points that support the main argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: