IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people suggest that social networking and online communication have increased social isolation. In what ways do you think this has happened? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #communication #isolation #answers
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Some argue that social media and digital communication have caused the
enhancing
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enhancement
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 of social isolation.
While
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 these technologies allow us to connect with family and friends abroad through various apps, I think they
also
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 raise concerns about how virtual
interactions
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 affect our relationships and well-being.
This
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 shift has led to feelings of loneliness and superficial connections.
Firstly
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,
due to
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 the advent of the internet, people have forgotten to appreciate the small things in life
such
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 as spending time with their loved ones and how to socialize with them, since they only rely on digital platforms that promote brief
interactions
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 that often lack depth.
While
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,
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apply
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 those exchanges may be frequent, they do not provide the emotional support found in face-to-face conversations.
As a result
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, individuals may feel alone, despite having numerous online
interactions
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.
Secondly
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, the convenience of virtual
interactions
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 has discouraged people from pursuing in-person exchanges. As messaging and social media become the main form of communication, opportunities for meaningful conversations decrease.People often choose to send quick texts rather than
making
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make
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 calls or
visiting
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visit
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 friends and family abroad, resulting in missed opportunities to form deeper connections.
This
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 shift can leave relationships feeling less authentic and emotionally fulfilling. In conclusion,
whereas
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 social networks and digital communication help us connect, they can
also
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 foster isolation and shallow bonds. The preference for quick online encounters often diminishes meaningful dialogues, transforming family dynamo and friendships.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples or personal experiences to substantiate your points, making the essay more relatable and grounded.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates back to the central argument to maintain consistent relevance throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the main argument of the essay, clearly stating the subject and summarizing your points.
coherence cohesion
Logical progression of ideas is maintained throughout the essay, with clear connections between points that support the main argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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