People are now living in a “throwaway society” where things are used for a short period of time and then thrown away. What are the causes of this and what problems does it cause?
It is true that using products for a short
time
is caused by modern people
living in a throwaway society. There are two causes
behind this
phenomenon , and I believe this
has caused spending money and environmental pollution.
There are two causes
of what people
can throw away despite they
use for a short Correct pronoun usage
their
time
. Firstly
, advanced technologies lead people
to grow using social media. To explain, if they use social media, not only will they be unable to satisfy ordinary stimuli as electronic devices emit dangerous hormones such
as dopamine, but they can also
think that appearance is important. Thus
, they can throw away stuff in spite of using it for a short time
. In addition
, technological progress makes it possible for them to gain convenience. For example
, they can purchase what they want to,using online platforms such
as amazon
and Capitalize word
Amazon
google
, which allow them to throw away easily.
The above-mentioned Capitalize word
Google
causes
bring both individuals
and social problems. First of all, environmental pollution is caused by Fix the agreement mistake
individual
people
who throw away their subjects easily. In detail, the more people
throw away their products for a short time
, the more it is for producers to sell many commodities, which burn the
garbage, emitting Correct article usage
apply
the
fossil fuels and greenhouse. Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
, this
drives governments and individuals to spend money. To explain, throwing away their products, they will buy substitutes. Also
, government
will provide funds that can burn by-products; Add an article
the government
as a
result
they don’t have enough moneyAdd a comma
result,
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
To sum up
, the main causes
are increasing
use of social media and convenience Correct article usage
the increasing
due to
development
of technologies, which have a negative influence on Correct article usage
the development
environment
and economy on both social and individual Correct article usage
the environment
level
.Fix the agreement mistake
levels
Submitted by axo667377 on
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writing skill
Work on improving sentence structure to ensure clarity. Some sentences are a bit difficult to follow because of awkward phrasing. For instance, try to break down complex sentences into simpler ones, and maintain subject-verb agreement.
content development
Provide more specific examples to support your points. While you mention online platforms like Amazon, further details or varied examples could make your points stronger.
content development
Expand on the discussion of environmental and economic impacts with more detailed analysis. While the points are identified, delving deeper into why these impacts are significant could enhance understanding.
organization
Your introduction clearly presents the main topic and your stance, setting a good direction for the essay.
content comprehension
You successfully identify the key causes and effects related to the 'throwaway society,' which shows a good understanding of the topic.
organization
The essay has a good conclusion that sums up the main ideas clearly and effectively, providing a strong end to your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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