some people say that advertising is extremely succesful at persuading us to buy things. other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?
The passage above mentioned that advertising could encourage us to consume goods and services
while
Linking Words
on the other
Linking Words
hand
it is no longer effective as it is considered Add a comma
hand,
as
too common. I would say that Change preposition
apply
commercial
Fix the agreement mistake
commercials
still
able to persuade us to buy Add a missing verb
are still
things
Advertising Use synonyms
remain
one of the Change the verb form
remains
driver
of marketing, as its innovation still Change to a plural noun
drivers
find
a way to boost societies’ desires to consume Correct subject-verb agreement
finds
things
. I am impressed with Use synonyms
people
who work in marketing since they have Use synonyms
agile
ability to always adapt Correct article usage
an agile
with
any situation. They could predict Change preposition
to
Add an article
the trend
trend
that will come in the foreseeable future Fix the agreement mistake
trends
it
helps them to Correct pronoun usage
which
rethinking
their strategies. Change the verb
rethink
Hence
, Linking Words
this
trait will assist them to find ways Linking Words
on
how to wake Change preposition
apply
peoples
desire to purchase Change noun form
people's
things
.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, nowadays, Linking Words
general
population found that advertising has become too intense. Add an article
the general
People
would be overwhelmed as it is very easy for the advertising to Use synonyms
found
them, not the other way around. Through Wrong verb form
find
survey
and research, marketers have been able to find the target audience practically anywhere they go. The commercials could be found not only Fix the agreement mistake
surveys
in
the road or Change preposition
on
newspapers
Change preposition
in newspapers
,
but Remove the comma
apply
could
Verb problem
apply
also
in the hand phone that Linking Words
people
use Use synonyms
everyday
. Replace the word
every day
Thus
, Linking Words
this
information overload makes Linking Words
people
exhausted Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
make
them Change the verb form
makes
ignoring
any information from the commercials.
In conclusion, despite Wrong verb form
ignore
people
Use synonyms
put
less attention to marketing materials, marketers will continue their Verb problem
paying
effort
to ensure their commercials Fix the agreement mistake
efforts
enables
society to buy Correct subject-verb agreement
enable
things
. So advertising is still successful Use synonyms
to encourage
us to buy Change preposition
in encouraging
things
.Use synonyms
Submitted by auliahakim0001 on
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Task Achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
Task Achievement
Ensure clarity by thoroughly explaining your ideas. Elaborate on the points presented to provide a comprehensive understanding.
Coherence and Cohesion
Strive for a more logical structure, perhaps by using transition words to guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining the main points to be discussed regarding advertising effectiveness.
Task Achievement
The writer attempts to discuss both views of advertising, showing an understanding of the prompt's requirement to cover both sides.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.