Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
It is widely known that more and more people, especially in developing and poor countries, try alternative medicines to deal with illnesses;
however
, I believe that this
is a negative tendency for both: authorities of countries and common citizens.
Firstly
, it is a bad sign for governments, because usually humans try non-traditional treatments
when there is no possibility to tackle
Change preposition
of tackling
disease
with scientific methods. Generally speaking, a person attempts natural Add an article
the disease
medicine
when he is either desperate or uneducated. Both problems usually are caused by poor quality of educational or medical systems.
Secondly
, there are
no globally recognised evidence that natural Change the verb form
is
medicine
has positive
Add an article
a positive
impact
on people’s health. Therefore
, the
most Correct article usage
apply
of
non-traditional Change preposition
apply
treatments
not only have no good influence on humans’ health,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
harm it in different ways, such
as causing problems with stomach
Correct article usage
the stomach
due to
using dangerous herbs. There are a lot of events around the globe where a person is damaged by using folk medicine
.
Admittedly, some alternative treatments
are claimed not to have negative
Add an article
a negative
impact
. So, they at least make
people Verb problem
give
have
hope to become healthy again. Unnecessary verb
apply
Furthermore
, it is said by scientists that mind
has a direct Correct article usage
the mind
impact
on physical health. So, positive
attitude to a situation may help a person to address illnesses, especially ones that can’t be treated in a scientific way, like cancer.
Correct article usage
a positive
To conclude
, mostly due to
poor decisions of governments, people have no choice but to believe in natural medicine
and attempt it. Although
, usually it doesn’t make any impact
, sometimes non-traditional treatments
can make a human have better
mood.Add an article
a better
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task achievement
Your essay could benefit from more specific examples to illustrate your points. Try to use more relevant and specific illustrations to support your arguments.
task achievement
Some ideas could be clearer with further elaboration. Consider expanding on your points for better comprehension.
coherence cohesion
While your main points are clear, work on linking them even more seamlessly for better coherence. Consider using more linking phrases to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
You have addressed the task fully, providing both the negative perspective and acknowledging the positive aspects.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is well-maintained. Your arguments are logically sequenced.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.