In many countries parents worry about the amount of time their children spend watching TV and using the internet. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
In numerous
countries
Add a comma
countries,
parents
are afraid of how often their children use TV or the Use synonyms
Internet
.
There are a lot of reasons for that. Use synonyms
For instance
, nowadays people need to work more than in the past to make a living. Linking Words
Therefore
, in order to relax after hard work, they tend to allow their Linking Words
kids
to use phones unmonitored or turn on some series on TV. Minors get used to Use synonyms
such
an attitude and don’t want to do anything except binge-watching cartoons. Linking Words
In addition
, our world develops dramatically, so even schools and kindergartens use Linking Words
educating
materials on the Replace the word
educational
Internet
. Use synonyms
Consequently
, when they get older, it is hard for them to chat with others in real life and make new friendships. Linking Words
As a result
, they may prefer social media to real communication.
First of all, to tackle Linking Words
this
problem, Linking Words
parents
ought to spend more time with their Use synonyms
kids
. Use synonyms
For example
, they can engage in different outdoor activities together. There are kindergartens where both Linking Words
parents
and offspring can immerse themselves in nature, which can not only decrease the amount of time spent on the Use synonyms
Internet
Use synonyms
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
develop vital survival skills. Linking Words
Moreover
, Linking Words
usually
youths spend a longer period using the Add a comma
usually,
Internet
when they don’t have anything to do. So, Fathers and mothers should help their Use synonyms
kids
find new hobbies, Use synonyms
such
as sports, reading, dancing or singing.
Linking Words
To conclude
, Linking Words
although
in modern life Linking Words
an
issue of children using their gadgets too much is Correct article usage
the
significant
issue because of a list of factors, like Add an article
a significant
rapid
advancement of technologies or Correct article usage
the rapid
parents
not having enough time, thereUse synonyms
a
few simple solutions, Add a missing verb
are a
for instance
finding new hobbies for Linking Words
kids
.Use synonyms
Submitted by leshchynser on
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task achievement
Consider elaborating on how schools using educational materials online contributes to children spending excessive time on the internet. This could strengthen your argument with clearer connections.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or case studies that illustrate the points you're making. This will enhance the relevance and depth of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that sums up the main point before you delve into details. This will help improve the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
You've done well to include an introduction and a conclusion, ensuring your essay has a clear beginning and end, which helps with overall coherence.
task achievement
You've identified some causes and solutions to the problem, directly addressing all parts of the task.
task achievement
The advice to parents on possible solutions was practical and included multiple interesting suggestions, which shows clear thinking and relevance.
Your opinion
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