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Writing Samples /
Band 5

The major cities in the world are growing fast, as well as their problems. What are the problems that young peopl living in cities are facing with? Give solutions to these problems

#cities #world #peopl
Nowadays, the youths have to
overcoming
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overcome
show examples
 a
lot
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lot of
show examples
 difficulties. there is no doubt that the past generations did not face
to
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apply
show examples
these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of challenges.
The most
Correct article usage
Most
show examples
 of them
comeing
Correct your spelling
come
 out regarding the pace of development in metropolice.
Unfortunitely
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Unfortunately
, these problems are becoming worse and worse.
This
 essay will look at the
prinple
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principal
 causes of
problem
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the problem
a problem
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 and propose some
solution
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solutions
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. One of the most significant problems
that
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apply
show examples
is
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are
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lack
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the lack
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 of
the
Correct article usage
a
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 suitable occupation with sufficient income for living. it seems
clearly
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clear
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 that when students
graduated
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graduate
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 from universities, despite their knowledge and skill
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in at
show examples
at
Correct your spelling
a
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 significant field, they are forced to
works
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work
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 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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companies where not related to their majors. Admittedly,
due to
 they could not
to
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apply
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reach their
life long
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life-long
show examples
 ambition, they would be depressed and have insufficient motivation to persuade. a solution is for the government to be involved and devote more funding
for
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to
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this
 issue
such
 as
provide
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providing
show examples
Add an article
a grant
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grant
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grants
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 for
graduation
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graduates
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 that run their own business.
Moreover
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Moreover,
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thhe
Correct your spelling
the
 alumni
departmant
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department
 can create great networks with
a big companies
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big companies
a big company
show examples
 to
introduces
Wrong verb form
introduce
show examples
 students to
that
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those
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 agencies after finishing their education. Another issue is
growing
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the growing
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 population and engine vehicles throughout the cities that
caused
Wrong verb form
cause
show examples
 low
qualitiy
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quality
 of
the
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apply
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air
condition
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conditioning
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,
a
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apply
show examples
noise
polution
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pollution
 and so on. As consequences of
these issue
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this issue
these issues
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 are
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
 in youth's Physical and mental health. As
Correct article usage
a result
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result
Add a comma
result,
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 they have to pay a
lot
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lot of
show examples
 money
for visiting
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to visit
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 doctors,
hospital
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hospitals
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 and medicines. it might
be have
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have
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dangerous
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the dangerous
a dangerous
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 impact
of
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on
show examples
 them in a
long-time
Correct your spelling
long time
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 period. to tackle
this
 difficulty,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and local council should take
a
Remove the article
apply
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control and create new
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
 to remedy
this
situtaion
Correct your spelling
situation
.
For instance
, bring in law to odd and even days permission related to their licence's plates,
in other words
 in even days just people can take out their car from home that their car's plate is even and vice versa. that probably could be helpful to
better
Add an article
a better
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 condition.
to sum up
, take steps to deal with
these problem
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
such
 as lack of
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 or bad weather conditions. action must be taken urgently by authorities. I believe if these
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
considered
Add a missing verb
were considered
show examples
 earlier, we would not witness them.
Submitted by mahyarnaseri on

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language
Work on sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity. Use simple and complex sentences effectively.
task achievement
Develop your ideas with more specific details and examples to make your arguments more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
Try to structure your paragraphs more clearly, focusing on one main idea per paragraph and ensuring logical progression.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task by presenting problems faced by youth in cities and offering solutions.
coherence and cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear framework for the essay.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address different issues which affect young people in cities.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • high cost of living
  • financial stress
  • affordable housing
  • population boom
  • job market saturation
  • underemployment
  • mental health
  • stress, anxiety, and depression
  • subsidies
  • tax rebates
  • minimum wage
  • affordable housing
  • entrepreneurship
  • skill development programs
  • diverse range of industries
  • mental health facilities
  • community networks
  • isolation
  • urban residents
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