IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The major cities in the world are growing fast, as well as their problems. What are the problems that young peopl living in cities are facing with? Give solutions to these problems

#cities #world #peopl
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Nowadays, the youths have to
overcoming
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overcome
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 a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
show examples
 difficulties. there is no doubt that the past generations did not face
to
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apply
show examples
these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of challenges.
The most
Correct article usage
Most
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 of them
comeing
Correct your spelling
come
 out regarding the pace of development in metropolice.
Unfortunitely
Correct your spelling
Unfortunately
, these problems are becoming worse and worse.
This
Linking Words
 essay will look at the
prinple
Correct your spelling
principal
 causes of
problem
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the problem
a problem
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 and propose some
solution
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solutions
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. One of the most significant problems
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is
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are
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lack
Correct article usage
the lack
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 of
the
Correct article usage
a
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 suitable occupation with sufficient income for living. it seems
clearly
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clear
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 that when students
graduated
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graduate
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 from universities, despite their knowledge and skill
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in at
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at
Correct your spelling
a
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 significant field, they are forced to
works
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work
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 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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companies where not related to their majors. Admittedly,
due to
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 they could not
to
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apply
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reach their
life long
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life-long
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 ambition, they would be depressed and have insufficient motivation to persuade. a solution is for the government to be involved and devote more funding
for
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to
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this
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 issue
such
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 as
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
Add an article
a grant
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grant
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grants
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 for
graduation
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graduates
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 that run their own business.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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thhe
Correct your spelling
the
 alumni
departmant
Correct your spelling
department
 can create great networks with
a big companies
Correct the article-noun agreement
big companies
a big company
show examples
 to
introduces
Wrong verb form
introduce
show examples
 students to
that
Correct determiner usage
those
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 agencies after finishing their education. Another issue is
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
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 population and engine vehicles throughout the cities that
caused
Wrong verb form
cause
show examples
 low
qualitiy
Correct your spelling
quality
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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air
condition
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conditioning
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,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
noise
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
 and so on. As consequences of
these issue
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this issue
these issues
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 are
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
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 in youth's Physical and mental health. As
Correct article usage
a result
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result
Add a comma
result,
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 they have to pay a
lot
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lot of
show examples
 money
for visiting
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to visit
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 doctors,
hospital
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hospitals
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 and medicines. it might
be have
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have
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dangerous
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the dangerous
a dangerous
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 impact
of
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on
show examples
 them in a
long-time
Correct your spelling
long time
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 period. to tackle
this
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 difficulty,
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 and local council should take
a
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apply
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control and create new
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
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 to remedy
this
Linking Words
situtaion
Correct your spelling
situation
.
For instance
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, bring in law to odd and even days permission related to their licence's plates,
in other words
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 in even days just people can take out their car from home that their car's plate is even and vice versa. that probably could be helpful to
better
Add an article
a better
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 condition.
to sum up
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, take steps to deal with
these problem
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as lack of
job
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jobs
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 or bad weather conditions. action must be taken urgently by authorities. I believe if these
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
considered
Add a missing verb
were considered
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 earlier, we would not witness them.
Submitted by mahyarnaseri on

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language
Work on sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity. Use simple and complex sentences effectively.
task achievement
Develop your ideas with more specific details and examples to make your arguments more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
Try to structure your paragraphs more clearly, focusing on one main idea per paragraph and ensuring logical progression.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task by presenting problems faced by youth in cities and offering solutions.
coherence and cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear framework for the essay.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address different issues which affect young people in cities.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • high cost of living
  • financial stress
  • affordable housing
  • population boom
  • job market saturation
  • underemployment
  • mental health
  • stress, anxiety, and depression
  • subsidies
  • tax rebates
  • minimum wage
  • affordable housing
  • entrepreneurship
  • skill development programs
  • diverse range of industries
  • mental health facilities
  • community networks
  • isolation
  • urban residents
What to do next:
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