Are classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#classes #child #development #subjects #schools

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some claim that

art

Use synonyms

-related

lessons

Use synonyms

should be incorporated into the main syllabus of high

schools

Use synonyms

since they have a significant impact on

children

Use synonyms

's development. I completely agree with the aforementioned statement as those subjects enhance students'

creativity

Use synonyms

and assist them in selecting the right career paths that align with their interests.

Firstly

Linking Words

, making

art

Use synonyms

lessons

Use synonyms

mandatory in

Use synonyms

schools

Change the noun form

school

show examples

programs is beneficial to improve

children

Use synonyms

creativity

Use synonyms

skills. Surrounded by technological advancements on a constant basis that replace all technical abilities of people,

creativity

Use synonyms

has become one of the most vital requirements in nowadays' work environments. Being engaged in various fields of

art

Use synonyms

from a young age can encourage students to approach problems from different perspectives and come up with unconventional methods to solve issues.

Hence

Linking Words

, by offering those subjects as a crucial part of schooling,

children

Use synonyms

can have better chances to qualify for the current demands of employers.

For instance

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

public sources, NASA, one of the leading companies in astronomy, seeking candidates who are creative.

Secondly

Linking Words

, making

children

Use synonyms

familiar with the different aspects of

art

Use synonyms

at an early age can result in students revealing their best potential and abilities of they were not even aware of.

Schools

Use synonyms

can use those

art

Use synonyms

lessons

Use synonyms

as a medium to discover the hidden talents of the kids who can pursue them in the future as a possible career choice.

As a result

Linking Words

, the whole world can benefit from the artistic abilities of those

children

Use synonyms

. They can be a potential artist, musician, and actor, who follow their dreams and inspire millions of people.

Hence

Linking Words

schools

Use synonyms

can support those who have a flair in certain

art

Use synonyms

fields and provide them with the right guidance to deter them from wasting their talents

Change preposition

show examples

any other area in which they would not shine.

To conclude

Linking Words

, in my opinion, making

art

Use synonyms

lessons

Use synonyms

compulsory subject in high

schools

Use synonyms

can only be beneficial to student's development as they improve their

creativity

Use synonyms

and help them to uncover their secret talents to follow in the future.

Submitted by Narmin on Sun Aug 18 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

It is important to ensure that your arguments are consistently supported with clear and specific examples. For instance, while the mention of NASA is interesting, it would benefit from more details to fully connect it to the argument about creativity in arts. Try to give specific examples from educational contexts as well.

coherence cohesion

Avoid small grammatical errors and awkward phrases which can interfere with the reader's understanding. For instance, 'abilities of they were not even aware of' should be 'abilities they were not even aware of'. Additionally, rephrasing 'in nowadays' work environments’ to ‘in today’s work environments’ would improve readability.

task achievement

Your essay successfully argues for the importance of art-related lessons and clearly states your position. The structure is logical and flows well from one point to the next.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-organized with clear and concise paragraphs. Each paragraph focuses on a particular point which is introduced and developed well.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

334 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8.5
band
A freiend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. the letter, - explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday - describe some possible disadvantages - say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer
I am glad to hear from you. I am going to advise you on what you asked regarding the camping holiday.
7
band
Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that they should not go to school until they are older.
Nowadays, the right age of schooling become an intellectual conflict among the experts. While defenders argue that kids should attend school as early as possible, opponents think that the appropriate time of schooling is over the 6 or 7. In my point of view, not the former but the latter group’s ideology is more realistic and worth supporting. This essay delves into these opinions and expresses my notion before drawing a reasonable conclusion.
6
band
Some people believe that children should be allowed to go out for outdoor activities. While others believe that children should stay at home most of the time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some people believe outside is fine for children some people believe stay home. I guess that depends on the situation. My opinion is outdoor activities always better than indoor activities.
5
band
As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teacher in the classroom.
There have been immense advances in technology in most aspect of people’s lives, especially in the field of education. Nowadays, an increasing number of students rely on computers for research and to produce a perfect paper for school purposes. Others have decided to leave the original way of learning and to get knowledge through online schools. These changes in the learning process have brought a special concern regarding the possible decrease of importance of teachers in the classroom.
5.5
band
Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In modern days, sports are widely considered to be one of the most popular way to entertain the public. Contests, on a worldwide scale, are constantly organised with this exact purpose. Thus, a fair number of governments began investing capital in order to provide professional athletes with specialised facilities, uttery neglecting the option of doing so for a wider range of population, sparking a debate on the positive and negative consequences of this decision.

Are classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that they should not go to school until they are older.

Some people believe that children should be allowed to go out for outdoor activities. While others believe that children should stay at home most of the time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teacher in the classroom.

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.