It is better for the students to live away from the home during their university studies rather than staying with their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
this
modern world era, education is becoming very important in
evryone's
Correct your spelling
everyone's
life. It become a trend for students to live far away from their homes and families for their
further
studies. I agree
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
statement to a greater extent that for their bright future living far away from their parents is much beneficial. First of all, the students will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
become more independent and will have more concentration on
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
.
As a result
of
this
, they get to know about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social life and have much time for their studies because the students are not burdened by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things like cooking or other
distracted
Wrong verb form
distracting
show examples
things.
Submitted by yuvrajsinghsaggu200703 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing a more balanced view by acknowledging the potential advantages of staying with parents during university studies, such as emotional support or financial savings.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states the writer's agreement with the statement and sets the stage for the arguments to follow.
coherence cohesion
The essay logically outlines a point about independence gained by living away from parents.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • time management
  • organizational skills
  • diverse social environments
  • broader network
  • professional contacts
  • accommodation
  • financial burden
  • emotional support
  • psychological support
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • academic pressures
  • familial support system
  • distraction
  • focused study environment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: