Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #illness #disease #governments #focus #pollution

There are many ways to prevent acquiring illnesses and diseases. Others think that governments should give their full attention to limiting the concerns in the environment and housing.

Although

this

is true, I partly believe that it is not only them that have the solutions to

this

problem.

To begin

with, authorities surely can give answers to issues regarding pollution and housing problems.

First,

public servants can increase the limitations in using cars by implementing additional days of scheme coding.

Second,

they can build more homes for the homeless on the streets who are mainly the source of littering over the place.

As a result

this

will decrease the amount of air pollution from exhaust fumes from vehicles and

people

can now inhale more cleaner air.

Also

this

approach can lessen the noise pollution caused by transportation and

people

living on the streets. Aside from the given aid by the government, it should be the task of an individual to be responsible for their own health.

For example

, one thing that they can do is watch over the meals they eat,

avoid

Correct word choice

and avoid

show examples

unhealthy foods to prevent being sick.

Additionally

, they should know the importance of exercise to improve their well-being. In the end,

people

should care more about their bodies as a preventive measure not to suffer any health-related problems. In conclusion, I partly believe that providing solutions to environmental issues is the job of

people

in higher positions.

However

, I think that it is

also

the responsibility of each person to take care of themselves in order to improve their lifestyles.

Submitted by cng123 on Fri Oct 25 2024

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task achievement

To enhance task achievement, try to address both sides of the argument more thoroughly. This will provide a complete response and show a wel-rounded understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to support your ideas. This will help in making your points more persuasive and demonstrate a better command over the topic.

task achievement

Your ideas are generally clear, but try expanding on them to make them even more comprehensive and convincing.

coherence cohesion

Aim for a clearer logical progression between ideas to enhance coherence. Linking your paragraphs with more transitional phrases can help achieve this.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a good introduction and conclusion, which helps frame and wrap up the argument effectively.

task achievement

The essay covers both governmental responsibilities and individual accountability, which provides a balanced view on the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

preventive healthcare
environmental regulations
respiratory diseases
public health policies
sanitation facilities
urban planning
communicable diseases
socio-economic factors
sustainable development
government intervention
healthcare infrastructure
industrial emissions
air quality index
affordable housing
mental wellbeing

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Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays employment options are changing and employees cannot rely on having the same job and working conditions throughout their life. What are some possible causes? Suggest some ways to plan for the future under these circumstances.

Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Athers believes that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the past, people lived in one place for a long time , but now they can live in many different places what are the reasons ? Is this positive or negative development ?

Nowadays, some parents pressure their children to be successful in a specific field. What are the reasons for this? Is it negative or positive?

The number of advertisements for charities on television and the internet seems to be increasing. What is causing this ? Is this a positive or negative development ? Give reasons for your answer & include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.