In some countries, the difference in age between parents and children is generally greater than it was in the past. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Thanks to medical development,
humans
expected lifespan is prolonged. Change noun form
humans'
Also
in some countries,
the average age
people get their first job is getting higher due to
improvement of
Change preposition
apply
an
educational level and hardships of economic circumstances. For these reasons, the Correct your spelling
in
age
people have baby
is getting older, which makes the difference in Fix the agreement mistake
babies
age
between the generation
greater. Fix the agreement mistake
generations
This
phenomenom
has both pros and cons, in my opinion, disadvantages overwhelmed Correct your spelling
phenomenon
advantages
.
On Correct article usage
the advantages
one
hand, there are some advantages of having Correct article usage
the one
baby
late. Add an article
a baby
For example
, the
couple who have Correct article usage
a
baby
late could have enough Add an article
a baby
time
to build stable
economic Correct article usage
a stable
statues
. In some Correct your spelling
status
reserch
, it shows that the Correct your spelling
research
labors
wage is related to their ages and Change noun form
labor's
labors'
experieces
. Correct your spelling
experiences
experience
In other words
, if someone choose
to have Change the verb form
chooses
baby
in their thirties, they would have more chances to receive higher income than when they were in their Add an article
a baby
the baby
twentieth
. Correct your spelling
twenties
Also
, the older their parents
are, the higher Correct article usage
the probabilities
probabilities
they are mentally Fix the agreement mistake
probability
matured
. These two factors are Replace the word
mature
straightly
related to Rephrase
directly
make
a good environment to bear and care Change the verb form
making
children
.
Change preposition
for children
On the other hand
, the genetic age
matters. There are
plenty of Correct subject-verb agreement
is
reserches
Correct your spelling
research
highlights
the Wrong verb form
highlighting
mothers
Change to a genitive case
mother's
mothers'
age
influences to
Change preposition
on
babies
IQ and health. Change noun form
babies'
baby's
For instance
, one article introduced a theory that women who are in their fourties
Correct your spelling
forties
has
Change the verb form
have
doubled
Replace the word
double
Correct article usage
the possibilities
possibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
possibility
to have
disabled babies Change preposition
of having
then
those Replace the word
than
of
Change preposition
in
twenties
and thirties. Correct pronoun usage
their twenties
Furthermore
, age
gap could be a barrier Correct article usage
the age
in
communication. The smaller Change preposition
to
gap
Correct article usage
the gap
parents
and childeren
have, the easier they share their thoughts. Correct your spelling
children
Lastly
, if parents
have baby
when they Add an article
a baby
were
young, they have longer Wrong verb form
are
time
to share with thier
children, concerning Correct your spelling
their
humans
average lifespan.
Change noun form
humans'
human's
Due to
social and personal reasons
the Add a comma
reasons,
age
gap between parents
and children getting bigger. It is good to set a stable environment to raise kids, while
it makes Correct word choice
but
parents
to
Change the verb form
apply
loose
Replace the word
lose
chance
to have healthier Add an article
the chance
a chance
baby
and Fix the agreement mistake
babies
time
to be with their love
ones. I Replace the word
loved
thinks
Change the verb form
think
time
is more important than money. So in this
matter, disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
way overweigh
Verb problem
outweigh
advantages
.Correct article usage
the advantages
Submitted by semimama on
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task achievement
Clarify your main argument whether disadvantages indeed outweigh advantages or vice versa, as your conclusion seems a bit rushed.
coherence cohesion
Use more connecting words and phrases to ensure a smooth flow between different sections of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to back up your points and make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, presenting the issue and perspectives reasonably well.
task achievement
The essay recognizes both advantages and disadvantages of having children at an older age, showing a balanced view.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples, particularly with regard to studies and articles, enriches your essay with concrete evidence.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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