Unhealthy eating has a negative effect on both individuals and the society in which they live. Some people think that the government should tax unhealthy foods while others believe that a “fat tax” is unfair and unnecessary. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

#effect #individuals #society #people #government #tax #foods #“fat #tax”

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Numerous health issues in a country are affected by the way people keep their healthy diet.

This

Linking Words

engages a notion of applying higher taxes on unhealthy foods,

although

Linking Words

many consider

this

Linking Words

as an insignificant way. I personally think that it is an effective way to deal with health problems because it can reduce the number of incidents

as well as

Linking Words

the percentage of unhealthy foods being offered in public, even though some might think

this

Linking Words

is too beneficial for the government and the opposite for merchants. First of all, the idea of taxing

this

Linking Words

unhealthy food definitely decreases the probability of people getting health sickness.

This

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the

overall

Linking Words

cost of that meals which is raised by the seller to maintain their sales.

As a result

Linking Words

, people will shift their choices to the healthier ones.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, a lot of merchants will think twice

to sell

Change preposition

about selling

show examples

such

Linking Words

food in the street so that they can free themself from additional cost.

For instance

Linking Words

, when a newcomer tries to open a restaurant, they probably decide on the meals with a lower price so they can save some benefits for them.

On the contrary

Linking Words

, some might argue that

this

Linking Words

regulation advantages the state more than the civilians who try to

make

Verb problem

show examples

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

business. It seems that everyone does not think the state could manage money from taxes well. They doubt that the benefit will only be applied to a few higher-ups.

Additionally

Linking Words

, not every seller has a lot of options in terms of what they can sell. The majority of

salesman

Fix the agreement mistake

salesmen

show examples

are limited in resources,

therefore

Linking Words

they were forced to depend on low-quality dishes.

To sum up

Linking Words

, I utterly believe that a robust decision should be taken by the government. Even though

this

Linking Words

notion could give the state all of the profits, we need to revitalize a new habit by taxing

this

Linking Words

long-term-dangerous food and

minimize

Wrong verb form

minimising

show examples

the number of

Change the pronoun

its

show examples

occurrence in the streets.

Submitted by 000silr111 on Fri Oct 25 2024

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task achievement

To enhance task achievement, incorporate more specific examples. These can help in illustrating your points more vividly and strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and use clear transition phrases to guide the reader, which will improve coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

The essay provides a well-structured response to the prompt and presents both views effectively.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good frame for the argument.

coherence cohesion

The main points are generally well supported by explanations, showing good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

322 words

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Unhealthy eating has a negative effect on both individuals and the society in which they live. Some people think that the government should tax unhealthy foods while others believe that a “fat tax” is unfair and unnecessary. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some students do not have the natural ability for other languages. Some people think that schools should not force students to learn foreign languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep? 1)Tiredness 2)Dark circles

In some cultures,children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough

Due to high unemployment rate in some countries, pupils should be offered only primary education and not secondary education since there are no jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that what children is their behaviour. other leave the amount of time they spend on television influences their behaviour most. Discuss both views and give your opinion.