The use of social media such as Facebook or Twitter is replacing face-to-face contact this century. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Popular social media apps like Facebook and Twitter are replacing 2-way contact,
with
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and with
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the advancement of technology ,
this
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problem is pretty unavoidable. I personally believe the disadvantages are way more severe and could impact our society as a whole leading to communal disruptions among people.
To begin
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with, Social Media apps are personally connected to each individual as they spend a lot of time scrolling these sites.
First,
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In current times ,websites have played a significant role in disconnecting relationships.
For example
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, In the USA more than 30% of people showed less interest in meeting their friends and family through physical contact ,as they think meeting through online sites is more convenient and a lot safer since the crime rate has increased rapidly within the past few years.
This
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type of behaviour is commonly being observed particularly in the young generation ,yet nothing is being done to curb
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problem.
Furthermore
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, People are spending countless hours on Internet applications
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avoiding going outside.
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,Residents living in the UK ,nowadays prefer to stay inside
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of going to watch movies outdoors or to go party outside and meet new characters, as these applications have disturbed our mental health ,we live in a decade where every single human is gaining introverted personalities and it is likely to continue or even accelerate in coming future.
Therefore
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, every person should decrease their online
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usage and should focus on developing their communication skills since they would require them at a certain period in their life. In conclusion, apps like Facebook or Twitter are affecting our lives creating a sense of avoiding outdoor space ,but each one can easily ignore those consequences as
this
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is just a lack of physical awareness in our minds.
Submitted by sarleensekhon on

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task response
Try to develop a more balanced view by acknowledging some potential advantages of social media for communication as well, to enrich the discussion.
task response
Work on providing more detailed explanations and clearer development of ideas to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly by using linking words or phrases.
coherence and cohesion
Further elaborate on how social media disrupts communication with specific examples or evidence.
introduction and conclusion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that relate directly to the topic.
task response
You presented a clear stance on the topic, arguing that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
coherence and cohesion
Relevant examples are provided to illustrate some points, such as the increase in introverted personalities and reliance on online communication.
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