IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The use of social media such as Facebook or Twitter is replacing face-to-face contact this century. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #facebook #twitter #contact #century #development
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The usage of social
media
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 has been increasing as a trend replacing conversation face-to-face. From my point of view, the change led to more strengths that
exceeds
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exceed
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 the
drawback
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drawbacks
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 to some extent. In
term
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terms
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 of the advantages,
it
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there
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 is
on
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no
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 doubt that our communication has
been
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become
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 more convenient since social
media
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reduce
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reduced
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the
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apply
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regional
restriction
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restrictions
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. Social
media
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 gives
people
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an
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apply
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availability of a kind of more efficient communication way because it helps
people
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 save
time
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 in transposition. Because of social
media
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, long-
time
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 transposition is unnecessary for
people
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 in some
situation
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situations
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,
such
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 as notifications, meetings and so on.
Besides
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,
people
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 can choose a way to make their communication comfortable. If someone is introverted, it is more likely that they give their
perference
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preference
 to communicate in an isolated room so that they can avoid
to feel
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feeling
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stressful
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stressed
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 as much as possible if social
media
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 is allowed in
this
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 conversation.
However
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, Balancing
work
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 and life can be quite a challenge.
While
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 social
media
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 is breaking down geographical constraints, it is
also
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 breaking down
time
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 constraints.Employees may receive
work
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 messages after
work
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 or be asked to participate in discussions during private
time
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,
thus
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 increasing psychological stress and affecting
the
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their
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time
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 off. In conclusion,
although
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 social
media
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 may lead to some issues between
work
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 and personal life, If we pay more attention
on
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to
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 it, It is obvious that
advantages
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the advantages
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 of
this
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 development outweigh the disadvantages
Submitted by w18920137819 on

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task achievement
To enhance your task achievement score, consider providing more specific examples that support your main points. This will help in illustrating your arguments more clearly and make them more persuasive.
task achievement
Continue improving the clarity of your ideas by refining your sentence structures. This could be achieved by varying sentence lengths and ensuring each sentence conveys a clear idea.
coherence cohesion
Try to maintain consistent use of vocabulary and expressions related to social media. This can improve the cohesion by showing connected ideas throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your argument is well-organized, which makes it easier for readers to follow your reasoning.
task achievement
You addressed the question by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of social media replacing face-to-face communication, which shows a good understanding of the task requirement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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