In many countries around the world , rural people are moving to cities , so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

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In the present day, during the process of urbanization, living in rural

areas

Use synonyms

is decreasing, leading to fewer

people

Use synonyms

in the suburbs. Rural inhabitants are moving to cities for a better life and to earn more than in their hometowns.

However

Linking Words

, the countryside is becoming increasingly empty with fewer residents, which has a negative impact. In the countryside

areas

Use synonyms

, a lot of

people

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moving to the modern cities, especially younger, for a better life. Because, in suburbs, there are fewer

opportunities

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for living with bad conditions of working and studying.

Whereas

Linking Words

the main reason is the lack of employment

opportunities

Use synonyms

in the villages.

For instance

Linking Words

, after graduating from university, most young do not find suitable workplaces

according to

Linking Words

their staff.

Therefore

Linking Words

, in villages should be enough staff places with

opportunities

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

partly

people

Use synonyms

are moving to the urban

areas

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, the amount of

people

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in the suburbs is diminishing.

Similarly

Linking Words

for

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, there will be a staff shortage in countryside

areas

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, when teachers relocate to urban cities for a high salary, schools will lack teachers.

For

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, the salary in schools and in other aspects should be increased. In conclusion, the government should give adequate

opportunities

Use synonyms

for

people

Use synonyms

, including increasing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

salary and construction of other aspects of the newest jobs with a modern vision.

makemoneyizzy16Fri Oct 25 2024

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task achievement

In task achievement, work on incorporating more specific examples that directly support your arguments to make your essay more convincing.

task achievement

Try to develop more clear and comprehensive ideas in your body paragraphs to improve task achievement. This will help you clearly communicate your arguments.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph logically transitions into the next. Improve logical structure by connecting ideas smoothly between sentences and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is important for coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

The essay provides a complete response to the task by discussing both the movement of rural inhabitants to cities and its impact.

coherence cohesion

There are clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph, guiding the reader through the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

222 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

economic opportunities
career prospects
quality of life
cultural exchange
economic stagnation
urban overcrowding
infrastructure
environmental degradation
pollution
natural habitats
migration
superior education and healthcare services
diverse and vibrant cultural landscape
local services
urban slums
pressure on infrastructure

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In many countries around the world , rural people are moving to cities , so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Human activities have negative effects on plants and animal species. Some people think that it is too late to do anything about this problem. Other people believe that effective measures can be taken to improve this situation. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In modern era, it is easy to sell, buy and work with other people through internet. But others against it. Do you think this is positive trend or negative trend.

You were recently disrespected by one of the employees at your local supermarket, Write a letter to the supermarket manager. In your letter ●tell him/her why you were speaking with the employee ●describe the employee's rude behaviour ●explain what you'd like the manager to do

More and more people are working from home rather than at the workplace. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, But others think it will bring stressto the home. Discuss both views and give your opinion.