The use of social media such as Facebook or Twitter is replacing face-to-face contact this century. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In
this
technically advanced world, highly enhanced digital applications are becoming the mainstream platforms used to connect with anyone
instead
of meeting them in person. Some believe that these apps have certain drawbacks. I think the benefits of these advancements are high when compared to the disadvantages. On the one hand, in
this
fast-running era of globalization, online texting has been an important means to talk with peers who are in different parts of the world without even travelling anywhere.
This
digital world is giving multiple opportunities to meet with different individuals from various parts of the globe which makes people know about multi-cultural ways of learning and dealing with things. A lot of chatboxes, and video call providers help to connect and know all the whereabouts of family members or friends who are in distant places.
For example
, an application like WhatsApp is well-known for connecting with others through chat or call all the time without any barriers in the time zone or country of two people connecting with each other. It helps to care about our loved ones.
On the other hand
, some are debating about how
this
technology is destroying the fun of meeting peers in person and actually seeing them face-to-face. They feel that actually being with loved ones makes the bond between families and loved ones close
instead
of looking at them through some video calls.
For Instance
, a study made by a well-established educational institution, a lot of grandparents who are mostly not familiar with
this
new age development are hoping that they could meet their grandchildren in real-time and not prefer to watch them on screen.
To conclude
, I believe it is important to know and experience all the new age transformations of things.
Although
, many will disagree to use it for their own reasons.
Submitted by manikumarchowdary111 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To further enhance the task response, consider incorporating more specific examples and data to support your points. This will make your arguments more compelling and convincing.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by using more linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly between sentences and paragraphs. This will guide the reader more effectively through your argument.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction that outlines the topic and provides a strong thesis statement, positioning the response effectively from the start.
supported main points
You provide a balanced view by discussing both advantages and drawbacks of social media replacing face-to-face contact.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: