Today, more children are spending their time in font of TV compared to the past. Why do you think this happens? is this a positive or negative change?

#children #time #font #tv #change

Nowadays, more and more parents are allowing their

children

to spend too much

time

in front of Television. I see

this

as a result

of adults' lack of awareness of the negative impact of too much screen

time

on young

kids

including their health and social development.

Therefore

, the increasing number of underage people watching

has been down-grade progress in our society. Ideally, parents, teachers, and other responsible adults should know the importance of suitable stimulus for

kids

. Unfortunately, many fail to understand that there are some media -in

this

case television- that bring more harm than benefits to

kids

especially if it is being given too much. Even worse if no adult is around to guide them

while

watching. We never know if the show presented is appropriate to their age. As a matter of fact, numerous studies have found that the habit of regularly watching

for

children

aged under 13 has caused health problems

such

as low vision and a sedentary lifestyle.

Furthermore

this

harmful behaviour has

also

influenced how

kids

interact with their friends. It is known that

kids

who watch

more than the maximum screen

time

recommended by experts are facing social problems

such

as insecurity and trouble approaching their friends.

To conclude

, the uprising case of little

kids

spending unlimited

time

in front of the

is caused by parents' little knowledge of the importance of

children

's screen-

time

limitation. Personally, I strongly believe that

this

behavioural change in

kids

brings more harm than good.

For instance

, it has caused

children

's health and social problems.

Therefore

, adults should be more thoughtful of their

kids

' watch

time

and find alternative media that are more beneficial to young

kids

e.g. drawing books, encyclopedias, interactive board games, etc.

Submitted by lidyaprmata on Sun Jul 07 2024

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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