Importance should be given to the academic subjects by the schools. Music and sports should not be as a subject. Do you agree or disagree. Give reasons and examples for your answer.

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Nowadays, many believe that academic subjects are more significant in student curriculums,
while
Sports
and
music
are treated as unwanted things in them.
However
, I completely disagree with
this
statement. In my view, artistic and physical abilities play a vital role in offspring upbringing and should be given equal importance. First and foremost, children tend to learn whatever they like and focus on making a career from what they have learned. It is mandatory to have both artistical and physical classes infused as a part of their regular education which gives offspring freedom to choose what they want and excel in it.
Music
helps to bring creativity out of children.
This
makes kids enjoy every feeling and attain a stress-free mindset.
For example
, a well-established article writer stated that
music
helps in keeping emotions intact and participating in
music
classes will benefit kids to articulate their emotions and get balanced emotionally.
Furthermore
, it is well-known that physical maintenance helps pupils to become strong and mentally balanced.
Whereas
,
sports
are the best way to bring physical awareness in kids.
This
will directly boost focus in adolescents to achieve good academic excellence.
For instance
, a famous journal mentioned that children who participate in regular exercise classes are good at handling stress and anxiety by releasing natural hormones.
Moreover
, several
sports
also
teach adolescents about teamwork, planning and more.
On the other hand
,
sports
can
also
be a path of becoming success through the right guidance
along with
talent and hard work.
To conclude
, I strongly believe that including
music
and
sports
into the youngster's daily routine is more important to enhance their confidence and concentration.
Submitted by manikumarchowdary111 on

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coherence cohesion
Aim to develop a more coherent flow between some of the ideas to ensure smooth transitions throughout the essay.
task achievement
Further elaborate on your examples to provide more depth and relevance.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a strong introduction and conclusion, effectively encapsulating the central argument.
task achievement
You provided a complete response to the task and addressed all parts of the question.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the benefits of music and sports, with relevant examples to support your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive Benefits
  • Critical Thinking
  • Problem-Solving Skills
  • Logical Reasoning
  • Analytical Skills
  • Mastery
  • Job Opportunities
  • Discipline
  • Socio-Economic Contribution
  • Technological Advancement
  • Innovate
  • Sustainable Development
  • Physical Health
  • Physical Activity
  • Fitness
  • Obesity
  • Lifestyle Diseases
  • Emotional and Social Development
  • Creativity
  • Emotional Expression
  • Teamwork
  • Communication Skills
  • Sense of Belonging
  • Life Skills
  • Time Management
  • Perseverance
  • Transferable Skills
  • Well-Rounded Education
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