IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph indicates the trends in the quantities
show
Wrong verb form
shown

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb show. Consider changing it.

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 of three types of fast food like pizza, hamburgers, fish, and chips by Australian teenagers between 1975 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is clear to see that the movement of hamburgers is in demand,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the amount of pizza is gradually increasing. Alternatively, fish and chips are significantly decreased.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 with, fish and chips in 1975 were the most popular about 100% of consumption, in 1985, they are rising just 90% more than the year before.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
after
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 moment it rarely , especially, in 1995 with it was only 50% and in 2000 dropped to 50%.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in the starting period, pizza and hamburgers have similar
value
Fix the agreement mistake
values

It seems that value may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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with approximately, 10% of consumption. The greatest changes in the hamburger direction
was
Change the verb form
were

The singular verb was does not appear to agree with the plural subject changes. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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 in 1985 when jump to 80% and in
2000went
Correct your spelling
2000

If you don’t want 2000went to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

up to
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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shortly 100%.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 , slowly increased which around 10 to 25% in 1980 and 1985.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the largest
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change

It seems that changes may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 was in 2000 not far from 80%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • line graph
  • trends
  • consumption
  • type of fast food
  • popularity
  • peaked
  • hit a low
  • timeline
  • notable
  • switch
  • cultural trends
  • economic factors
  • marketing efforts
  • increase
  • decrease
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