IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagre?

#week #workers #weekend #disagre
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Nowadays people spend most of their
time
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 at
work
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 than ever before.
This
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 raises a certain question about the standard working
hours
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as well as
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 adequate weekends.
While
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 some still hold to the conservative view that people have to
work
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 as much as possible to supply life expenditures, in
this
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 essay, I intend to argue that working
hours
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 are much more than humans’ capabilities. The reasons for
this
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 are as follows. First of all, spending a third of a day – 8
hours
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 at
work
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 seems to be incompatible with the physical nature of the body. Of course, spending as much
time
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 as possible at
work
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 would bring economic growth and prosperity in the short term,
nonetheless
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, the disadvantageous it causes to workers' health in later life are significantly irreparable. A salient example of
this
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 is especially in developing countries where employees have to
work
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 more than 8
hours
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 a day with a mere one day off at the weekend. Sacrificing resting and leisure
time
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 for
work
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 would jeopardise their physical and mental health.
Secondly
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 and even more importantly, though, working for long
hours
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 with fewer weekends would result in dropping the efficiency at
work
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.
According to
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 research conducted in 2020, decreasing
work
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time
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 from 8 to 5
hours
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 in a factory, resulted in a 30% increase in productivity, workers' innovation and problem-solving skills. In order to have a flourishing and healthy society, greater regulation of standard working
time
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 would be justified. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that spending
such
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 long
hours
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 at
work
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 with inadequate weekends has turned out to have disastrous impacts on society at large.
However
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, providing the opportunity for workers to have more free
time
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 would be accompanied by exponential benefits for the nation.
Submitted by golriiz.azizi1991 on

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task achievement
Ensure all arguments are equally balanced, providing counterpoints where necessary to demonstrate a deeper analysis.
coherence cohesion
Use more transitional phrases to enhance the logical flow between paragraphs and ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.
task achievement
Main points are well-supported with relevant examples and evidence, enhancing the task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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