The use of social media such as Facebook or Twitter is replacing face-to-face contact this century. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, in
new
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a new
the new
show examples
era ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social
medical
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medicine
show examples
is growing more and more , sometimes it replaces being in person
such
as in
meeting
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meetings
show examples
.
However
, in
this
case , I would like to clarify the
positives
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positive
show examples
and
negatives
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negative
show examples
points and will give my own personal opinion. To commence , the most essential point worth
to mention
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mentioning
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is that using different sorts of social media
for Example
: Twitter ,
inestegram
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Instagram
or any platform that presents connecting
people
by any electronic device is the time .
Therefore
, the connection between
people
worldwide
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
short and fast so
that is
why continue working online, meeting, interview ,and are more preferable.
Furthermore
, the advertisement for the small business will be easier
that
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than
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the traditional one .
However
, with the previous pandemic which started
2020
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in 2020
show examples
and
stayed
Verb problem
lasted
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for 4 years ,every country
support
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supports
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to continue
Verb problem
apply
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people
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people's
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life
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lives
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either work or education to be virtual promptly.
On the other hand
, the most striking feature
from
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of
show examples
using online applications is that spending plenty of time for gaming and there is not enough to do
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
,
for instance
, regarding students .
although
, it has human risk from
cyberattack
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cyberattacks
show examples
,
bulying
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bullying
buying
, or hacking from the
the
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apply
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electronic pirates .
To sum up
, some
people
find the advantages of using social
medical
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media
show examples
are more than
disadvantages
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the disadvantages
show examples
,
However
, from my perspective , I found the vitals
are
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apply
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outweigh
non vitals
Correct your spelling
non-vals
specially
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especially
show examples
this
Change preposition
in this
show examples
era.
Submitted by dr.marwa on

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introduction
Clarify your introduction. Aim for a more concise and specific statement on the topic, briefly mentioning both sides and your opinion.
support/examples
Use more specific examples or statistics to support your main ideas. For instance, discuss a specific business success utilizing social media or a study on social media's impact during the pandemic.
language/structure
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity. Avoid run-on sentences and separate ideas into distinct sentences.
cohesion/flow
Try to integrate your ideas smoothly, ensuring each paragraph flows logically into the next. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader.
balanced view
Good attempt to cover both advantages and disadvantages of social media, illustrating a balanced view.
real world examples
Refers to current phenomena like the pandemic to set the context, which is relevant and shows awareness of real-world implications.
conclusive statement
Expresses a clear opinion at the end, which is necessary for a successful essay conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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