Some companies use major sportsa events for promoting their products. Some people believe that is a negative effect on sports. Do you agree or disagree?

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Main
sports
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competitions and events are being used by some companies for promoting their products, and some people believe that it has a drawback on
sports
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. I disagree with
this
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opinion, because with
this
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economics growth is better, and global reach. There are two main reasons that it does not have a negative effect on
sports
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.
Firstly
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, economics grew better, because
sponsorship
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gives plenty of money for advertising, which gives an opportunity for better facilities, and player development, potentially enhancing the sport’s quality.
For example
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, football earns 80% of its profit from advertising, they are spent on the development of quality stadiums, shirts, and channels. Another example is tennis which is not well known in a
lot
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of countries
,
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because tennis does not have huge
sponsorship
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that gives opportunities for development. The second reason is the growth of the level of athletes. A
lot
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of athletes do a
lot
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of work
,
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because they earn much more money from
sponsorship
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. That means their main achievements in a
lot
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of situations would be impressive public.
For instance
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, a
lot
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of footballers who earn a
lot
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of money are in most cases more likely to be impressive.
Besides
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,
Sports
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events provide a platform for global brands to reach audiences worldwide, contributing to economic globalization. In conclusion, the promotion provides benefits
such
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as the growth of economics and the level of athletes. Considering these facts, I believe that
sponsorship
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in
sports
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will continue, because it gives us a
lot
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of advantages, and most
the
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apply
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people will support it
Submitted by erkasiet2008 on

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Language
Incorporate a more varied vocabulary to enhance richness and depth, and ensure all ideas are fully developed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Provide clearer transitions between sections to further boost cohesion.
Task Achievement
Offer more balanced and detailed evaluation on the negatives to meet the essay's directive and enrich task achievement.
Task Achievement
The essay presents clear reasons supporting the stance, enhancing task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure is logical with a clear introduction and conclusion.
Task Achievement
Specific examples help to illustrate points effectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • commercialization
  • sponsorship
  • advertisements
  • fan experience
  • unhealthy lifestyles
  • competitive integrity
  • economic benefits
  • brand recognition
  • sportsmanship
  • athletic achievement
  • globalization
  • cultural significance
  • corporate involvement
  • public perception
  • consumerism
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