IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that a gap year between school and university is a good idea, while others disagree strongly. Consider both sides of this debate and present your own opinion. You should give reasons for your answer, and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 word

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A majority of
people
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 think the idea of
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gap
Correct article usage
a gap
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year
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 where
people
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 postpone their enrollment to
university
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 is good
whereas
Linking Words
 some oppose
this
Linking Words
 idea. I believe that taking a small break before continuing education is beneficial for the individual.
Firstly
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, choosing to take some
time
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 before going to
university
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 gives
people
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 more
time
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 to think about the best major to pursue.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they are not being rushed about deciding a study program which often ends up with the dissatisfaction of the major.
For example
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, a lot of Indonesian students choose to take a
gap
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year
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 after completing high school in order to get to their dream major and
university
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.
As a result
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, a
gap
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year
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 gives students plenty of
time
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 to consider which major to study. On top of that,
people
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 get the opportunity to gain valuable experiences before starting college. They can use the
time
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 to do self-development activities
such
Linking Words
 as having a job, developing hobbies and passion or even
traveling
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travelling
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 around the world.
For instance
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, it is common for high school graduates in the US to not
directy
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directly
 continue their
study
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studies
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 since most of them prefer to work and gain some money. After that, they get to choose the major that relates to their job so they can be promoted to higher
position
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positions
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.
As a consequence
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, a
gap
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year
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 might bring benefits to the individual to climb the career ladder. In conclusion,
although
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 some
people
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 argue that a
gap
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year
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 may bring drawbacks to many individuals, I am
conviced
Correct your spelling
convinced
 that it offers excellent advantages to them as they are given
time
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 to choose a major and they get the chance to explore things before pursuing a
university
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 degree.

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Task Achievement
To enhance your task response, consider acknowledging some potential drawbacks of taking a gap year. This would provide a more balanced discussion and strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs by using more varied linking words and phrases. This will contribute to a smoother transition between your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay provides a strong introduction and conclusion, clearly stating your position on the topic.
Task Achievement
You include relevant and specific examples from both Indonesia and the US, which help illustrate your points effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year
  • practical life experience
  • personal growth
  • independence
  • academic and career goals
  • in-depth exploration
  • renewed motivation
  • time management skills
  • matured perspective
  • academic detachment
  • formal education system
  • reintegration
  • financial burden
  • educational costs
  • lost income
  • increased educational costs
  • lack of structure
  • productive activities
  • proper planning
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