Some people say early education is important in a child’s life while others say spending time with family is more vital. To what extent do you agree or disagree

It is indisputable that early education exerts a profound and wide-ranging influence on a child's life. Some people posit that hanging out with family is more critical. I contend that
while
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education plays a pivotal and indispensable role in contemporary society, it
also
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presents some negative consequences that should not be overlooked. In terms of the positive side, most of the successful people worked hard in their childhood. The primary justification offered in favour of
this
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assertion is that hard work, persistence, and determination will help you to succeed in the future.
For instance
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, Bill Gates one of the richest men on the planet started his career when he was 17 years old. He had the confidence and courage to start a business with some university colleagues related to his major which enriched him with experience. After that, he opened the most used application at
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moment, Microsoft Office 365.
In other words
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,
this
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simple fact highlights the importance of education.
In addition
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, exaggeration in learning might prevent children from having a beautiful, and memorable childhood which is
also
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important to have
stable
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a stable
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life. In conclusion, despite the existence of alternative perspectives. I assume that early learning is an effective reason to succeed in your life.

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task achievement
To enhance your task achievement score, try to fully address all aspects of the prompt. Although you have provided some arguments and examples, ensuring they align clearly with each other and with the task prompt is crucial.
task achievement
Clarify your points further by elaborating more on the comparison between the importance of early education and spending time with family.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all points are logically connected for better cohesion. For example, providing transitions between the points about education and family time would strengthen coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly establishes your stance and the overall topic of the essay.
task achievement
You included a relevant example, such as that of Bill Gates, which helps to support your position.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion succinctly restates your viewpoint, reinforcing your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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