As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Due to
the enhancement of technology, the popularity of the newspapers
has been reduced. This
essay agrees with above
statement, Add an article
the above
Firstly
, due to
the availability of enormous
Correct article usage
an enormous
amount
of information
and the eco friendliness
; and Add a hyphen
eco-friendliness
secondly
, the convenience of the
Correct article usage
apply
access
to information
in
the Change preposition
on
internet
.
Firstly
, the
Correct article usage
apply
newspapers
have a limited amount
of data
and information
in a
print, Correct article usage
apply
while
the internet
contains Capitalize word
Internet
huge
Add an article
a huge
amount
of information
. Moreover
, in order to produce papers, which use
to print Wrong verb form
are used
newspapers
, considerable
number of trees Add an article
a considerable
has
to be cut down, which leads to Correct subject-verb agreement
have
the
global warming. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, it is obvious that using the internet
Capitalize word
Internet
instead
of printed newspapers
is the most eco-friendly option. For an
Correct article usage
apply
instant
, recent studies conducted by the UN Replace the word
instance
reveals
thatCorrect subject-verb agreement
reveal
,
the number of deforestation has Remove the comma
apply
been
decreased by 12% in 2023, and one of the major Unnecessary verb
apply
reason
is Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
that
using the Correct word choice
apply
internet
instead
of printed media.
Secondly
, due to
the
technical advancement, Correct article usage
apply
access
to the
Correct article usage
apply
information
has become more convenience
. Anyone who Replace the word
convenient
need
to receive newsChange the verb form
needs
,
can Remove the comma
apply
access
the internet
via an
smart device Change the article
a
such
as laptop
, Correct article usage
a laptop
tab
or Correct your spelling
tablet
smart phone
, from anywhere in the world. Correct your spelling
smartphone
due to
the elevated data
transferring speed, people can get all the information
they needed
in an instant. The only thing users should be Wrong verb form
need
concern
about is Wrong verb form
concerned
get
Wrong verb form
getting
the
Correct article usage
apply
information
from reliable data
sources such
as,
BBC, CNN, ABC etc... Remove the comma
apply
According to
recent studies of APC, the number of websites has been exceeded
250 million in 2023.
In conclusion, it is observed that using Wrong verb form
will exceed
internet
over the printed media became
more attractive, because of the availability of Wrong verb form
has become
huge
Add an article
the huge
amount
of Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
information
, eco- friendliness
, and Correct your spelling
eco-friendliness
the
easy Correct article usage
apply
access
to the
Correct article usage
apply
data
.Submitted by dmsangeeth on
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task achievement
Ensure your thesis statement clearly presents the focus of your essay. While your essay agrees with the statement, clearly stating 'I fully agree that...' would make your stance stronger.
task achievement
Provide a greater variety of examples or evidence to support your points. Including more specific examples would enhance the relevance to the task.
coherence cohesion
Integrate transition words more effectively between sentences to improve the flow of information. This will help in building stronger connections between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next one. Although your ideas are clear, transitions could be enhanced to guide the reader through your argument more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This creates a logical and organized line of argument.
task achievement
There is a good use of vocabulary and sentence structures, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You have successfully provided logical reasons for why internet is preferred over newspapers, showing a strong engagement with the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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