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Writing Samples /
Band 7

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities so the polpulation in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your won knowledge or experience.

#countries #world #people #cities #polpulation #countryside #development
There is no denying the fact that moving to the big city is a huge step forward for
people
.
While
 it is a commonly held belief that transfer to cities is a significant step toward building their future, there is
also
 an argument that it could be a bad idea to move from urban areas.
This
 essay will analyse
this
 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand, the bigger city has been a great opportunity to get a new job or start working for your own business.
In other words
, the majority of rural
people
 are not employed or have not invested .
In addition
, the huge regions provide them with a considerable level for their lives.
For example
, we saw Dubai as an advanced city and all
people
 were moving to Dubai for entertainment and an immense opportunity for their families.
On the other hand
, a lot of
people
 prefer the rural environment to get relief and unwind atmosphere. It is
also
 possible to say that the peaceful and close to nature is crucial for their mental and spiritual health.
Moreover
, they
also
 have their own farms and trading fields.
For instance
, rural areas are important to big cities because they supplement their vegetable and fruit freshness. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
 question. On balance,
however
, I tend to believe
that is
 beneficial for
people
 seeking a better future and these opportunities just in cities ,so it is a positive improvement to their lives.
Submitted by raghadyaseer2015 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the logical structure of your essay for even smoother transitions between points.
task achievement
Continue providing specific examples to support your points for a stronger argument.
introduction conclusion present
You have effectively introduced the topic and provided a conclusive opinion.
complete response
The essay provides a complete response to the question, addressing both sides of the argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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