Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Due to

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the development of technology and the increasing usage of

phones

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are increasing, some

children

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spend their time on smartphones every day.

Although

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there are both positive and negative impacts to

this

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, I believe the downside outweighs the benefits.

To begin

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with, artificial intelligence and the sources that accompany technology are significantly important tools for humans to live.

People

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use

phones

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in order to communicate faster with

people

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. These days,

children

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spend their leisure time watching videos and playing games. They can save time to write letters talk with

people

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or go to the playground to play.

Moreover

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, there are a lot of resources that they can get easily from the network without finding them by hand.

For instance

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children

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who are living far apart from classmates, they get just pick up their

phones

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and text them. The app, instagram is there for many

people

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to not only communicate but

also

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post stories of what they are doing. It is very convenient for them as they can do it anywhere without going to places.

However

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, there are many detrimental problems to

this

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, as it can be dangerous. More

people

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are vulnerable to getting hacked by someone ruining all their personal data.

Children

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might press the wrong website, making the phone hacked. On top of

this

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children

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who are addicted to games have difficulty distinguishing whether they are in a reality or virtual world.

Also

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, peer groups bully their friends by posting stories mocking that particular person.

For example

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, a boy who is addicted to video games killed his sister because he couldn't notice that he was in reality.

This

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is a serious problem for

children

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and clearly shows the negative influence of mobile

phones

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sooah1799Sat Oct 26 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Consider strengthening your introduction by clearly outlining the main points you will discuss. This can help in guiding the reader more effectively through your essay.

introduction conclusion present

Include a stronger conclusion that reiterates your position and summarises main ideas clearly, reinforcing the overall argument.

logical structure

Work on refining topic sentences for each paragraph to enhance clarity. Well-defined topic sentences can guide the reader and improve the logical flow of ideas.

relevant specific examples

Ensure all examples are directly relevant to the point being made. Avoid overly dramatic examples that might detract from the overall cohesiveness.

clear comprehensive ideas

The essay effectively highlights both positive and negative aspects of smartphone use among children, which showcases a balanced understanding of the issue.

logical structure

The structure of the essay is organized into paragraphs that discuss distinct aspects of the topic, enhancing readability and focus.

supported main points

The use of concrete examples helps in illustrating points, making the essay more engaging and convincing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

285 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some countries allow old people to work to any stage that they want. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes effects of this disturbing trend.

Some people say that it’s better to teach language students in small classes, others think the number of people does not matter. Discuss and give your own opinion.

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?