IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

These days consumer are faced with an increasing amount of advertising from various companies. To what extend do you thunk consumers are influenced by advertising? What measures should be taken to protect them?

Nowadays consumers are facing an excessive quantity of advertising from several industries and
this
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phenomena
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phenomenon
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 is influencing our
users
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. In the following
segments
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segments,
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 I will discuss
on
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apply
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how much our
users
Use synonyms
 are affected by commercial displays and how to protect them. The clients are highly controlled by advertising that they can not think of themselves. In most cases, consumers can not
differ
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differentiate
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 between good
or
Correct word choice
and
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 bad and they buy products believing
on
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in
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 ads.
Thus
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, they get cheated and feel
insecured
Correct your spelling
insecure
unsecured
 resulting in losses of other
sllers
Correct your spelling
soldiers
. Since the
users
Use synonyms
 lose their
beliefs
Fix the agreement mistake
belief
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on
Change preposition
in
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 the companies, they do not believe
the
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in the
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 loyal ones and the real ones gain losses in their businesses.
For example
Linking Words
, a business is selling a product in low value with bad quality
whereas
Linking Words
 another business is selling the same one with good quality and proper value. Here the first one influenced the
users
Use synonyms
 highly but when the
users
Use synonyms
 got cheated, they lost their faith
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the other sellers for the same product. Another thing is controlled by ads causing social disputes among the people and
due to
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this
Linking Words
 unstable
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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 arises in the society. The appropriate measures should be taken to tackle
this
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 issue. On that note, some laws and protocols should be reinforced to promote ads. All
the
Correct article usage
apply
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companies should be under one fair line to promote their businesses and not to
cause
Verb problem
apply
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harm others. A committee can be built to monitor the whole thing so that no sellers can do anything on their own.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it can be said that people are being affected by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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advertising broadly and it is causing negative effects on consumers'
believes
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beliefs
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.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
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, to cope
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
with this
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up
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apply
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, protocols should be implemented for the industries and a committee should be appointed to observe the whole thing.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task well by discussing both questions: how consumers are influenced and what measures should be taken. However, try to present more specific examples to further support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, further refinement in connecting ideas clearly will enhance your overall structure.
task achievement
You clearly state your intention to discuss both the influence of advertising on consumers and measures for protection.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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