IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think it is better to travel by cars in the city. While others think travelling by bicycles is better. Discuss both views.

#people #travel #cars #city #bicycles
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In urban environments, the mode of
transportation
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 can significantly influence daily life. Some individuals advocate for
traveling
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travelling
show examples
 by car
due to
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 its convenience and speed,
while
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 others argue that
bicycles
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 are the superior choice for various reasons.
This
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 essay will discuss
both
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 perspectives and ultimately suggest a balanced approach to urban
transportation
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. On one hand, proponents of car travel highlight the convenience and efficiency
cars
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 offer.
Cars
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 provide a comfortable means of
transportation
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, especially in adverse weather conditions or when carrying heavy loads.
Furthermore
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, for longer distances or during rush hours,
cars
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 can save time compared to
bicycles
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. In cities where public transport may be limited,
cars
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 often serve as the most reliable option for getting from point A to point B.
Conversely
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, those who
favor
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favour
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 cycling argue that
bicycles
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 are more environmentally friendly and promote a healthier lifestyle. With increasing concerns about air pollution and traffic congestion in urban areas, cycling presents a sustainable alternative.
Bicycles
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 produce no emissions and require significantly less space on the road compared to
cars
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.
Additionally
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, cycling encourages physical activity, which can lead to improved public health outcomes and reduced healthcare costs.
Moreover
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,
bicycles
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 can navigate through traffic more easily, allowing cyclists to avoid some of the congestion that
cars
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 face. In many cities, dedicated bike lanes are becoming more common, making cycling safer and more appealing.
This
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 shift not only enhances the cycling experience but
also
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 promotes a sense of community among cyclists. In conclusion,
both
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cars
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 and
bicycles
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 have their advantages and disadvantages when it comes to city travel.
While
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cars
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 offer convenience and speed,
bicycles
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 provide environmental benefits and promote a healthier lifestyle. A balanced approach that encourages the use of
both
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 modes, depending on the context and distance, could lead to a more efficient and sustainable urban
transportation
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 system. Ultimately, cities may benefit from integrating
both
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transportation
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 options to cater to diverse needs and preferences.
Submitted by shadaataria1 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or case studies to enhance the argument, such as examples of cities that have successfully integrated cycling infrastructure.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to connect arguments more explicitly; some points, like the issue of public health, could be developed further with clearer connections to the main argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
The arguments are well-structured and cover both perspectives, offering a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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