In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

Pursuing
academic
Correct article usage
an academic
show examples
journey is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
significant part of
students
.
Although
students
attend local schools, they sometimes should move to
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
cities' or even countries' colleges and universities to pursue their education. Recently, it has been a controversial issue whether it is beneficial to move to another region to
study
.
This
essay will express the advantages and disadvantages of
this
statement and reveal my orientation towards it. Opponents argue that
students
deviate from their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
moving to
another cities
Replace the adjective
another city
other cities
show examples
. To put it differently,
due to
the fact that pupils live alone without families, they take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
full responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
all household chores,
such
as washing, cooking, shopping and ironing, without any assistance.
Consequently
, they should dedicate a lot of
time
to
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
chores which is against their aim of
study
.
As a result
, the lack of
time
harms their academic pursuit because pupils'
time
is not particularly dedicated just to their lessons.
Conversely
, proponents believe that studying in another region leads to appearing strong personalities. To elaborate,
students
definitely encounter some challenges
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
doing chores,
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
and studying. Overcoming these issues prepares them for future hurdles and
consequently
, they will be able to manage them more conveniently. In
this
regard, being alone flourishes their self-confidence and
self- esteem
Correct your spelling
self-esteem
show examples
.
For example
,
students
should manage their
time
to do their homework
as well as
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
household, so at the first step they will learn
time
management. In conclusion,
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
in another place
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
is far from families and relatives is undoubtedly difficult. Despite the fact that
this
is accompanied by some drawbacks, pupils' characters
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
flourished
as well as
their academic background. I believe that the pros of it outweigh the cons.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Task Achievement
To further strengthen your essay, you could include more specific examples or personal experiences that support your main points. This will make your arguments more convincing and relatable.
Task Achievement
Try to express your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Some sentences could be simplified to improve understanding.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your argument develops consistently throughout the essay. Make sure each paragraph flows logically from the one before it.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, framing your argument effectively.
Task Achievement
You have identified both advantages and disadvantages, showcasing a balanced understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay, with distinct paragraphs for different points, aids the reader's understanding.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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