IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

#technology #people #viewpoints
Some individuals think that people are brought together by the latest
technology
,
while
 others believe that it is the reason that they are away from each other.
Although
 the trend of relative family members spending quality time together has reduced in number, I argue that
technology
 has made communication convenient, especially overseas. On the one hand, relatives, nowadays, do not tend to allocate much time with each other in comparison to older times.
This
 is because they prefer to have a text message or a call
instead
 of having conversations by meeting and greeting one another, which used to be common in the old days.
For example
, in precious times, families with blood relations used to visit one another and spend priceless moments playing games, and having meals together, which is not commonly seen in the contemporary epoch.
However
, I would argue that long-distance communications have become easier.
On the other hand
, new
technology
 is a gift for people living away from their families as it has become convenient for them to stay in touch with their family members.
This
 is to say that through smartphones individuals can have conversations for hours through audio or video calls and even text messages, despite sitting miles away.
For instance
, websites
such
 as WhatsApp, Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook have made it easier for users to talk to someone at the touch of a screen.
Therefore
, I believe that
technology
 has brought people together. In conclusion,
although
 modern
technology
 has lowered the trend of relative family members spending time together, I think that it has made long-distance communication comfortable.
Submitted by sakshisyal2000 on

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task achievement
While the essay presents a clear perspective, elaborating further on how technology pulls people apart would balance the essay better. Try to provide specific examples or scenarios where technology negatively impacts social interactions.
coherence cohesion
Maintain clear paragraph transitions to foster seamless flow from one idea to another. This will strengthen the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
Clear thesis statement in the introduction that presents both viewpoints and your stance effectively.
coherence cohesion
Well-structured introduction and conclusion that reinforce the main argument.
task achievement
Inclusion of relevant examples, such as specific apps and websites, which vividly illustrate your points about technology improving communication.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
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