Some believe that younger family members should be legally responsible for supporting older family members when they become physically, mentally and financially unable to look after themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the contemporary
world
it is a topic of debate Add a comma
world,
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
wheather
children have to look after their Correct your spelling
whether
parents
when they before incompitent
to survive on their Correct your spelling
unable
on
. Personally, I agree with the given viewpoint and the following paragraphs shall outline my reasons for Correct your spelling
own
this
belief.
First and foremost, it is evident that parents
invest their time and money to get their offspring have
a successful career. In return, some Add the particle
to have
parents
expect support from their younge
ones, when they get old and helpless to perform their daily duties. Correct your spelling
young
For example
, old parents
can not maintain their basic hygene
. Children should Correct your spelling
hygiene
made
a visit to their Change the verb form
make
be made
parents
place to do chores like cleaning Change noun form
parent's
parents'
kitchen
, laundry and proper bath. Add an article
the kitchen
This
help will not only improve living
standards of old Correct article usage
the living
parents
but also
give a peace of mind of
their wellbeing.
Change preposition
about
Additionally
, some parents
prefer to bring their offsprings
to their grandparents to meet and greet. Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
This
activity boost
family bonds and respect for Change the verb form
boosts
eachothers
. Correct your spelling
each other
This
will make them mentally happy. For example
, grandparents always
excited to have their children and grandchildren for long weekends, Halloween and Christmas. The feeling of Add a missing verb
are always
united
family keeps everyone happy and mentally relaxed. Correct article usage
a united
Furthermore
, by efforts of joint
Correct article usage
a joint
family
one Add a comma
family,
do
not have to worry about finances, as family members understand Change the verb form
does
needs
of their loved ones.
Correct article usage
the needs
To conclude
, it is true that parents
sacrifices for their younger family members paid off in the later days of Change noun form
parents'
parent's
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
life
. Old Fix the agreement mistake
lives
parents
Change noun form
parent's
parents'
sacfices
Correct your spelling
sacrifices
sacrifice
is
valued and respected by family members to keep love, respect and other needs in check.Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports the main argument, with logical transitions between ideas to strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples or statistics to better illustrate your points and make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
Language & Grammar
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for better clarity and sophistication in your writing.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction is clear and sets up the essay's argument effectively, and the conclusion neatly summarizes the main points, reinforcing your stance.
Task Achievement
You present a clear position on the topic and support your viewpoint with relevant arguments, showing a good understanding of the task.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the value of family support, reflecting deeply on cultural and emotional aspects, which enriches your argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite