IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Problem and Solution In some poorer areas of large cities people are too afraid to leave their houses at night time due to a fear of crime. What are the causes of crime in those areas and what can be done to tackle those problems?

In recent decades,
crime
Use synonyms
 rates have risen significantly in many parts of the world, and
as a result
Linking Words
, a large number of
people
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 feel unsafe going out at night. In my view,
this
Linking Words
 problem can be effectively addressed through the installation of surveillance
cameras
Use synonyms
 and stronger
police
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enforcement
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine the main causes of
crime
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 and suggest appropriate solutions. One of the principal causes of
crime
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 is poverty. Individuals who are unable to meet their basic needs are often driven to steal or commit other offences in order to survive.
For example
Linking Words
, in overcrowded and impoverished areas
such
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 as certain districts of Mumbai or Chinatown, unemployment and limited access to resources push many
people
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 toward criminal behaviour. Another factor is the negative influence of gangs. Young
people
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, particularly adolescents, may admire gang members and regard them as role models.
Consequently
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, they are vulnerable to peer pressure and are more likely to engage in illegal activities, which perpetuates a cycle of
crime
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 within the community. To tackle
this
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 issue, governments should prioritise preventive and
enforcement
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 measures. The widespread installation of CCTV
cameras
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 in public spaces and residential neighbourhoods can act as a strong deterrent to
crime
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, as offenders are less likely to act when they know they are being monitored.
In addition
Linking Words
, these
cameras
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 provide vital evidence that assists the
police
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 in investigating and prosecuting offenders.
Furthermore
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, increasing
police
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 presence in high-
crime
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 areas is crucial. Community policing,
for instance
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, not only reassures residents but
also
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 builds trust between law
enforcement
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 and the public, thereby reducing opportunities for criminals to operate with impunity. In conclusion, fear of
crime
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 prevents many
people
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 from feeling safe outside their homes at night.
However
Linking Words
, by installing surveillance
cameras
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 and strengthening
police
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enforcement
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, governments can significantly reduce
crime
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 rates and restore public confidence. Ultimately, a combination of technology and effective policing is the most reliable way to ensure safer communities.

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content
Give more depth on each cause and add a few clear facts or real life examples to back them up.
structure
Show how each idea connects to the next. Use simple linking words to show cause and effect.
content
Add a step by step plan for the fix. Say who should do it and when, and how this helps.
structure
Clear plan in the intro and finish.
structure
Ideas follow a clear order in paragraphs.
usage
Good use of linking words to move from one idea to the next.
structure
Conclusion sums up the main view well.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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