We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In today’s interconnected world, the idea that we should focus solely on supporting our own
communities
and countries is frequently debated. While
it is essential to address local issues, I believe we cannot ignore global responsibilities, as challenges like poverty, climate change, and diseases transcend borders. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with the statement, as our world’s growing interconnectedness necessitates a broader approach to aid.
It is my view that providing help beyond our own communities
has numerous benefits for everyone involved. By extending support internationally, we contribute to global security, economic
stability, and foster diplomatic relations. Correct word choice
and economic
For instance
, countries that contribute aid and assistance to poverty-stricken areas help reduce migration pressures and potential conflicts, which, in turn, contributes to a more stable world. Additionally
, wealthier nations have both resources and expertise that can address global challenges effectively, such
as developing vaccines or supporting sustainable practices to counter climate change. Not using these resources globally represents a missed opportunity to make a significant impact where it’s most needed.
In contrast
, some people claim that we should focus on supporting our own communities
to strengthen them before looking outward. They firmly insist that addressing local needs first will build a robust foundation for a country’s growth and ensure that its citizens are well taken care of. However
, I do not find this
argument convincing, as focusing only locally could lead to isolationism and hinder global progress. While
building strong communities
is indeed essential, completely overlooking international needs ignores the moral obligation we hold toward humanity. Furthermore
, in some cases, excessive local support could even create dependency, failing to encourage sustainable growth in regions that would benefit from international cooperation.
In conclusion, I completely disagree with the notion that we should limit our concerns to our own communities
and countries. Global issues require collaborative solutions, and by addressing international needs, we foster collective security, economic stability, and ethical growth. Although
local needs are important, our interconnected world demands that we extend help beyond borders for a more sustainable and harmonious future.Submitted by www.prnmmdn on
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Coherence and Cohesion
While your ideas are well-structured and presented, consider introducing more varied sentence structures to enhance the flow. This will not only elevate the readability but also demonstrate higher proficiency in writing.
Task Achievement
Incorporate a more balanced view acknowledging the merits of focusing on local needs before transitioning to global concerns. This will provide a fuller picture of the debate and showcase analytical depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
Excellent introduction and conclusion, both succinctly framing the argument and reiterating key points.
Task Achievement
You provide a well-rounded argument with valid reasoning and examples, clearly supporting your disagreement with the statement.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.