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Band 5

Education should be free for everyone. Do you agree or disagree?

#education
It is often argued that
education
 should be free for everyone. I completely agree with
this
 opinion and think that every person, who wants to get
education
Add an article
an education
show examples
, can get it without any problems. First of all, access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
education
 is a functional right
off
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the person.
This
 right
involve
Change the verb form
involves
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in
Change preposition
apply
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the majority of the main lowes, which have
influence
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an influence
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 on society
and
Correct word choice
apply
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including the government. All
people
 have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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equal rights.
As a result
 of that the government must provide proper
education
 for everyone.
Secondly
, there are families with different financial situation and social status. Not every family can
allow
Verb problem
afford
show examples
 to pay for
education
, some do not even think about getting a higher
education
 because of
this
. Lack of funds prevents many from receiving
education
, so the state and society can lose outstanding
people
 because of that.
For instance
, the serf peasants could not learn
due to
 their status. Michael Shchepkin,
serf
Correct article usage
a serf
show examples
 peasant, could not be a renowned actor
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if his landowner
did
Verb problem
had
show examples
 not noticed the attraction to acting. After that at the instruction of the landlord Michael Shchepkin went to the theater to learn and gain experience.
In addition
, payment for
education
 limits
choice
Correct article usage
the choice
show examples
 of professions.
People
, who graduated from school or college, choose the cheaper specialty. It will produce unhappy
people
 who are dissatisfied with their jobs and are not enjoying life. Thats why everyone should have an
apportunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
get
Fix the infinitive
to get
show examples
 a free
education
.
To conclude
, I
am strongly believe
Change the verb form
strongly believe
show examples
 that
people
 will be able not to pay for their
education
 and choose a profession that they like.
Submitted by khotkina.ma on

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Language
Work on expanding your vocabulary to express ideas more precisely. Using synonyms and more complex sentence structures can take your essay to the next level in terms of language sophistication.
Content Development
To enhance your examples, you might include more recent or varied case studies that relate to the topic, this would increase the relevance and specificity of support provided for your points.
Structure
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument presented.
Flow of Ideas
There is a logical progression of ideas, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument from start to finish.
Topic Engagement
Your essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the importance of making education accessible to all, showcasing your engagement with the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • lifelong education
  • continual learning
  • adapt
  • changing technologies
  • societal norms
  • cognitive function
  • cognitive decline
  • personal development
  • self-improvement
  • formal education
  • navigate
  • emphasis
  • pressure
  • contentment
What to do next:
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