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Band 7.5

Nowadays the way many people intract with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationship that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development.

#people #intract #technology #relationship #development
These days,
technology
 has been developing immediately, so it has a lot of effect on the method of
people
's interactions and alters it to the new way.
This
 essay discusses the impact of
technology
 on peoples' relationships and positive or negative happening. Currently,
technology
 is changing the ways of relationships and helps us to interact with global inhabitants and it helps us to have a range of job opportunities. On the one hand, if the population connect to the internet, they have access to social media that have contacts from all over the world; in
fact
,
people
 from various countries become friends and they can learn about a range of cultures, traditional celebrations and so on from different countries.
On the other hand
,
technology
 aids us in finding jobs in several countries and working at their house owing to the
fact
 that companies interact with their employees on Internet platforms. The
fact
that is
 really important is that
this
 type of relationship has some drawbacks;
however
, I believe that it is a positive development inasmuch as
this
 way helps
people
 to connect with each other really soon
while
 the cost of it is lower than visiting
people
.
In addition
, it has a positive influence on the mental health of communities who are far from their family
due to
 the
fact
 that they are able to interact with not only family but
also
 friends
with
Change preposition
via
show examples
 social media, which has video calls like Google Meet, Skype, and so forth.
To sum up
, in my opinion,
technology
 aids international citizens to have connections with each other and helps
people
 to have more choices for careers;
furthermore
, it helps to visit other
people
 and solve our matters really fast.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to illustrate the points made about technology's impact on relationships.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear and single focus to improve overall coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Consider expanding on the discussion about the negative aspects to provide a more balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy for the reader to understand your main points.
task achievement
You address both the positive and negative impacts of technology on relationships, showing a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured, with arguments presented in a clear sequence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • interact
  • global connectivity
  • social media platforms
  • real-time communication
  • online dating apps
  • telecommuting
  • remote work
  • in-person interactions
  • video calls
  • instant messaging
  • long-distance relationships
  • digital communication
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