Some school children buy healthy food from the school cafeteria. However, some buy unhealthy food. What are the reasons for both these situations? Should schools be allowed to sell unhealthy food?

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Some

school

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children

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purchase healthy

food

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from the

school

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canteens

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canteen

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while

Linking Words

others buy unhealthy

food

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. The reasons behind these problems are that parents make

children

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aware of the drawbacks of unhealthy

food

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. Those

children

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who buy healthy

food

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, have the

habits

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habit

show examples

of consuming healthy

food

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. I personally believe that

schools

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should not sell unhealthy

food

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because it attracts

children

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to consume

unheathy

Correct your spelling

unhealthy

food

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which

are

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show examples

detrimental to their

health

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. Parents create awareness among those

children

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who buy healthy

food

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from their

school

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canteens. At home, those

children

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are well-educated about the harmful effects of unhealthy

food

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Therefore

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, they tend to buy and consume healthy

food

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because they believe that these

foods

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are good for their

health

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Moreover

Linking Words

, those

children

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who buy unhealthy

food

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have the

habits

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habit

show examples

of eating unhealthy

food

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. They do not know about the harmful effects of unhealthy

food

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. They only prioritize the tastes and looks of

food

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Remove the comma

apply

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and do not care about their

health

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For example

Linking Words

, in Bangladesh, many

children

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have developed the

habits

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habit

show examples

of eating street

food

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during their

lunch time

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lunchtime

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schools

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. They consume them for

tastes

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taste

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but they do not know how much harmful those

foods

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are. I personally believe that

schools

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should not sell unhealthy

food

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. These

foods

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are attractive and tasty and

therefore

Linking Words

, they attract

children

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the most.

Children

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are innocent and cannot differentiate the right and wrong.

Therefore

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, They get easily attracted by those harmful

foods

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and consume them.

As a result

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, they suffer from various diseases which

hinders

Correct subject-verb agreement

hinder

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their

health

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For example

Linking Words

, in India,

school

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children

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always suffer from

desentry

Correct your spelling

dysentery

and dehydration only because of consuming street

food

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Change preposition

show examples

their

school

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lunch. In conclusion,

children

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who buy healthy

food

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are well-educated by their parents about the harmful effects of unhealthy

food

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. I personally believe that

schools

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should not sell unhealthy

food

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because it attracts

children

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the most.

rahman_rehanaMon Oct 28 2024

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task achievement

Try to develop more balanced arguments by considering the reasons behind both situations in more depth. Discuss why some students choose unhealthy options beyond parental influence, such as peer pressure or convenience.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving your transitions between paragraphs and ideas to aid in fluidity and coherence. Use linking words and phrases more effectively.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a solid overall structure.

task achievement

You provide specific examples which help illustrate your points, enhancing the task achievement.

task achievement

The main points concerning parents' influence and children's habits are clearly presented, showing clear task engagement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Some school children buy healthy food from the school cafeteria. However, some buy unhealthy food. What are the reasons for both these situations? Should schools be allowed to sell unhealthy food?

Your opinion

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinion on this?

Family members and friends caring for elderly people find it hard to spend enough time looking after them. What are the causes of this problem? What solutions can you suggest?

Do the disadvantages of global homogenization outweigh the advantages?