Some school children buy healthy food from the school cafeteria. However, some buy unhealthy food. What are the reasons for both these situations? Should schools be allowed to sell unhealthy food?
Some
school
children
purchase healthy food
from the school
canteens
Fix the agreement mistake
canteen
while
others buy unhealthy food
. The reasons behind these problems are that parents make children
aware of the drawbacks of unhealthy food
. Those children
who buy healthy food
, have the habits
of consuming healthy Fix the agreement mistake
habit
food
. I personally believe that schools
should not sell unhealthy food
because it attracts children
to consume unheathy
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
food
which are
detrimental to their Change the verb form
is
health
.
Parents create awareness among those children
who buy healthy food
from their school
canteens. At home, those children
are well-educated about the harmful effects of unhealthy food
. Therefore
, they tend to buy and consume healthy food
because they believe that these foods
are good for their health
. Moreover
, those children
who buy unhealthy food
have the habits
of eating unhealthy Fix the agreement mistake
habit
food
. They do not know about the harmful effects of unhealthy food
. They only prioritize the tastes and looks of food
,
and do not care about their Remove the comma
apply
health
. For example
, in Bangladesh, many children
have developed the habits
of eating street Fix the agreement mistake
habit
food
during their lunch time
in Correct your spelling
lunchtime
schools
. They consume them for tastes
but they do not know how much harmful those Fix the agreement mistake
taste
foods
are.
I personally believe that schools
should not sell unhealthy food
. These foods
are attractive and tasty and therefore
, they attract children
the most. Children
are innocent and cannot differentiate the right and wrong. Therefore
, They get easily attracted by those harmful foods
and consume them. As a result
, they suffer from various diseases which hinders
their Correct subject-verb agreement
hinder
health
. For example
, in India, school
children
always suffer from desentry
and dehydration only because of consuming street Correct your spelling
dysentery
food
in
their Change preposition
on
school
lunch.
In conclusion, children
who buy healthy food
are well-educated by their parents about the harmful effects of unhealthy food
. I personally believe that schools
should not sell unhealthy food
because it attracts children
the most.Submitted by rahman_rehana on
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task achievement
Try to develop more balanced arguments by considering the reasons behind both situations in more depth. Discuss why some students choose unhealthy options beyond parental influence, such as peer pressure or convenience.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving your transitions between paragraphs and ideas to aid in fluidity and coherence. Use linking words and phrases more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a solid overall structure.
task achievement
You provide specific examples which help illustrate your points, enhancing the task achievement.
task achievement
The main points concerning parents' influence and children's habits are clearly presented, showing clear task engagement.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?