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Band 5

Some school children buy healthy food from the school cafeteria. However, some buy unhealthy food. What are the reasons for both these situations? Should schools be allowed to sell unhealthy food?

#school #children #food #cafeteria #buy #situations #schools
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Some
school
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children
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 purchase healthy
food
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 from the
school
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canteens
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canteen
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while
Linking Words
 others buy unhealthy
food
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. The reasons behind these problems are that parents make
children
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 aware of the drawbacks of unhealthy
food
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. Those
children
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 who buy healthy
food
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, have the
habits
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habit
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 of consuming healthy
food
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. I personally believe that
schools
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 should not sell unhealthy
food
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 because it attracts
children
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 to consume
unheathy
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
food
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 which
are
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is
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 detrimental to their
health
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. Parents create awareness among those
children
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 who buy healthy
food
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 from their
school
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 canteens. At home, those
children
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 are well-educated about the harmful effects of unhealthy
food
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.
Therefore
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, they tend to buy and consume healthy
food
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 because they believe that these
foods
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 are good for their
health
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.
Moreover
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, those
children
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 who buy unhealthy
food
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 have the
habits
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habit
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 of eating unhealthy
food
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. They do not know about the harmful effects of unhealthy
food
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. They only prioritize the tastes and looks of
food
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,
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apply
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 and do not care about their
health
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.
For example
Linking Words
, in Bangladesh, many
children
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 have developed the
habits
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habit
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 of eating street
food
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 during their
lunch time
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lunchtime
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 in
schools
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. They consume them for
tastes
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taste
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 but they do not know how much harmful those
foods
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 are. I personally believe that
schools
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 should not sell unhealthy
food
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. These
foods
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 are attractive and tasty and
therefore
Linking Words
, they attract
children
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 the most.
Children
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 are innocent and cannot differentiate the right and wrong.
Therefore
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, They get easily attracted by those harmful
foods
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 and consume them.
As a result
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, they suffer from various diseases which
hinders
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hinder
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 their
health
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.
For example
Linking Words
, in India,
school
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children
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 always suffer from
desentry
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dysentery
 and dehydration only because of consuming street
food
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in
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on
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 their
school
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 lunch. In conclusion,
children
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 who buy healthy
food
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 are well-educated by their parents about the harmful effects of unhealthy
food
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. I personally believe that
schools
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 should not sell unhealthy
food
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 because it attracts
children
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 the most.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
Try to develop more balanced arguments by considering the reasons behind both situations in more depth. Discuss why some students choose unhealthy options beyond parental influence, such as peer pressure or convenience.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving your transitions between paragraphs and ideas to aid in fluidity and coherence. Use linking words and phrases more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a solid overall structure.
task achievement
You provide specific examples which help illustrate your points, enhancing the task achievement.
task achievement
The main points concerning parents' influence and children's habits are clearly presented, showing clear task engagement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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