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Band 5.5

Mrs Barrett, an English-speaking woman who lives in your town, has advertised for someone to help her in her home for a few hours a day next summers. write a letter to Mrs Barrett. In yiur letter - suggest how you could help her in her home - say why you would like to do this work - explain whenyou will and will not be availvable.

#mrs #barrett #woman #lives #town #someone #home #hours #summers #yiur #work #whenyou #availvable
Respected Mrs Barrett, I am writing to tell you that I saw an advertisement by you which says you are looking for a helper at home in the upcoming
summers
Fix the agreement mistake
summer
show examples
. I
Ponder
Correct your spelling
Wonder
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,
this
 is something I can help you with as I am a full-time student without any job. I often struggle
spending
Change the verb form
to spend
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 my spare time after
studies
Correct pronoun usage
my studies
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. Since I know numerous works at
house
Add an article
the house
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 because I lived in a big family so I think I can be of great help to you. As I said, I don't work
thus
 I feel slovenly most of the time at home. When I saw your advertisement I thought
this
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 be a good idea to keep myself
ocuupied
Correct your spelling
occupied
 plus I am okay helping with the
house work
Correct your spelling
housework
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hence
 I decided to do
this
 work. Having said that, I can begin
from
Change preposition
in
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 the early
summers
Fix the agreement mistake
summer
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Verb problem
,
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that is
 starting
of
Change preposition
in
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 May. Even after attending my
classes
Add a comma
classes,
show examples
 I am available almost the whole week
instead
 of Mondays and Thursdays .
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 I can come to help you in the evenings and the early mornings as required. I hope to hear back from you soon. Regards Simran
Submitted by preetsimran0123 on

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single idea per paragraph
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea to improve clarity.
logical structure
Maintain logical progression in presenting the information, and ensure ideas are ordered naturally.
greeting and closing
The greeting and closing are appropriately included and well-presented.
suitable writing tone
Your writing tone is polite and suitable for the task. You addressed Mrs. Barrett respectfully and provided relevant information.
complete response
You clearly identified the purpose of the letter and addressed all parts of the task, including how you could help, your motivation, and your availability.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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