Many animal species in the world are becoming extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say that we should concentrate more on the problems of human beings. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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These days, many
animals
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in the world are becoming extinct. Some people believe that governments and people should protect these
animals
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from extinction,
while
Linking Words
others think that we should prioritize the problems of human beings. I personally believe that
while
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protecting
animals
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are
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is
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beneficial for the
environment
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, we should concentrate on saving
humans
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because they are
the
Correct article usage
apply
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superior to all species. If governments and people protect
animals
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from extinction, it is beneficial for the
environment
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.
Animals
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protect our
environment
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through several attempts. They protect
biodiversity
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the biodiversity
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of the
environment
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,
fertility
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and fertility
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of lands, and decrease carbon emissions. The damages we are doing every day to our
environment
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,
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animals
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and animals
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help to mitigate them. Extinction of these
animals
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posses
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poses
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a serious threat to the
environment
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.
For example
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, around 56% of land
animals
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in Australia became extinct in the
last
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dacade
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decade
, which tremendously
affect
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affects
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the climate and land fertility of the state.
However
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, I personally believe that we should concentrate on
human
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humans
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because they are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
superior to all living
creatures
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.
Humans
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are the best among all
creatures
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and they should be protected and cared
properly
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for properly
show examples
.
Humans
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are the survivors of several natural disasters, and they deserve to be protected. Most importantly,
humans
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are the only hope of all
creatures
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in the world, and they can save
this
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Earth with their intellectuality, knowledge, experiments and care. If
human
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humans
show examples
are not properly cared
, they
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for, they
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will become extinct like other
creatures
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.
For instance
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, Richard Ottman, a famous scientist from the USA, has declared that scientists should concentrate on the problems of
humans
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over
animals
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because human lives are more valuable than
animals
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. In conclusion, I personally believe that
while
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animals
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protect the
environment
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, we should more concentrate on saving human lives. Because they are the only hope of
this
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earth.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task response
Expand on the discussion of both views equally to provide a more balanced argument. This will enhance the task response score.
task response
Try to develop more comprehensive ideas that are clearly connected with evidence or examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical progression in ideas, especially transitions between paragraphs. This will help in coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of ideas and focus on presenting each point distinctly.
introduction conclusion present
The essay begins with a clear introduction outlining the main perspectives and the writer's own position.
supported main points
Main points are generally well-supported with examples, such as the impact of the extinction of animals on climate and land fertility in Australia.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • cascading effects
  • economic impacts
  • ecosystem
  • endangered species
  • environmental conservation
  • human welfare
  • moral duty
  • preserve
  • sustainable practices
  • habitats
  • interconnected
  • extinction
  • advocates
  • opponents
  • priority
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