Many animal species in the world are becoming extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say that we should concentrate more on the problems of human beings. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
These days, many
animals
in the world are becoming extinct. Some people believe that governments and people should protect these animals
from extinction, while
others think that we should prioritize the problems of human beings. I personally believe that while
protecting animals
are
beneficial for the Change the verb form
is
environment
, we should concentrate on saving humans
because they are the
superior to all species.
If governments and people protect Correct article usage
apply
animals
from extinction, it is beneficial for the environment
. Animals
protect our environment
through several attempts. They protect biodiversity
of the Add an article
the biodiversity
environment
, fertility
of lands, and decrease carbon emissions. The damages we are doing every day to our Correct word choice
and fertility
environment
, animals
help to mitigate them. Extinction of these Correct word choice
and animals
animals
posses
a serious threat to the Correct your spelling
poses
environment
. For example
, around 56% of land animals
in Australia became extinct in the last
dacade
, which tremendously Correct your spelling
decade
affect
the climate and land fertility of the state. Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
However
, I personally believe that we should concentrate on human
because they are Fix the agreement mistake
humans
the
superior to all living Correct article usage
apply
creatures
.
Humans
are the best among all creatures
and they should be protected and cared properly
. Change preposition
for properly
Humans
are the survivors of several natural disasters, and they deserve to be protected. Most importantly, humans
are the only hope of all creatures
in the world, and they can save this
Earth with their intellectuality, knowledge, experiments and care. If human
are not properly caredFix the agreement mistake
humans
, they
will become extinct like other Change preposition
for, they
creatures
. For instance
, Richard Ottman, a famous scientist from the USA, has declared that scientists should concentrate on the problems of humans
over animals
because human lives are more valuable than animals
.
In conclusion, I personally believe that while
animals
protect the environment
, we should more concentrate on saving human lives. Because they are the only hope of this
earth.Submitted by rahman_rehana on
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task response
Expand on the discussion of both views equally to provide a more balanced argument. This will enhance the task response score.
task response
Try to develop more comprehensive ideas that are clearly connected with evidence or examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical progression in ideas, especially transitions between paragraphs. This will help in coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of ideas and focus on presenting each point distinctly.
introduction conclusion present
The essay begins with a clear introduction outlining the main perspectives and the writer's own position.
supported main points
Main points are generally well-supported with examples, such as the impact of the extinction of animals on climate and land fertility in Australia.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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