Many animal species in the world are becoming extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say that we should concentrate more on the problems of human beings. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#species #world #people #countries #individuals #animals #beings

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These days, many

animals

Use synonyms

in the world are becoming extinct. Some people believe that governments and people should protect these

animals

Use synonyms

from extinction,

while

Linking Words

others think that we should prioritize the problems of human beings. I personally believe that

while

Linking Words

protecting

animals

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are

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show examples

beneficial for the

environment

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, we should concentrate on saving

humans

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because they are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

superior to all species. If governments and people protect

animals

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from extinction, it is beneficial for the

environment

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Animals

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protect our

environment

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through several attempts. They protect

biodiversity

Add an article

the biodiversity

show examples

of the

environment

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fertility

Correct word choice

and fertility

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of lands, and decrease carbon emissions. The damages we are doing every day to our

environment

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animals

Correct word choice

and animals

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help to mitigate them. Extinction of these

animals

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posses

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poses

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a serious threat to the

environment

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For example

Linking Words

, around 56% of land

animals

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in Australia became extinct in the

last

Linking Words

dacade

Correct your spelling

decade

, which tremendously

affect

Correct subject-verb agreement

affects

show examples

the climate and land fertility of the state.

However

Linking Words

, I personally believe that we should concentrate on

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

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because they are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

superior to all living

creatures

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Humans

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are the best among all

creatures

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and they should be protected and cared

properly

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for properly

show examples

Humans

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are the survivors of several natural disasters, and they deserve to be protected. Most importantly,

humans

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are the only hope of all

creatures

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in the world, and they can save

this

Linking Words

Earth with their intellectuality, knowledge, experiments and care. If

human

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humans

show examples

are not properly cared

, they

Change preposition

for, they

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will become extinct like other

creatures

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For instance

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, Richard Ottman, a famous scientist from the USA, has declared that scientists should concentrate on the problems of

humans

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over

animals

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because human lives are more valuable than

animals

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. In conclusion, I personally believe that

while

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animals

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protect the

environment

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, we should more concentrate on saving human lives. Because they are the only hope of

this

Linking Words

earth.

Submitted by rahman_rehana on Mon Oct 28 2024

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task response

Expand on the discussion of both views equally to provide a more balanced argument. This will enhance the task response score.

task response

Try to develop more comprehensive ideas that are clearly connected with evidence or examples.

coherence cohesion

Ensure logical progression in ideas, especially transitions between paragraphs. This will help in coherence and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Avoid repetition of ideas and focus on presenting each point distinctly.

introduction conclusion present

The essay begins with a clear introduction outlining the main perspectives and the writer's own position.

supported main points

Main points are generally well-supported with examples, such as the impact of the extinction of animals on climate and land fertility in Australia.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
cascading effects
economic impacts
ecosystem
endangered species
environmental conservation
human welfare
moral duty
preserve
sustainable practices
habitats
interconnected
extinction
advocates
opponents
priority

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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Some people think that Zoo's are all cruel and should be closed down. Others, however believe that zoo can be useful in protecting wild animals. discuss both views and give your opinion.