IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the modern world,
businesses
Use synonyms
 are primarily established to generate profit.
However
Linking Words
, many people believe that
companies
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 should
also
Linking Words
 play an important role in society beyond earning money. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 view because
businesses
Use synonyms
 have a significant impact on the
environment
Use synonyms
 and communities, and they possess the resources to contribute positively to society. One key reason why
companies
Use synonyms
 should accept social responsibility is their effect on the
environment
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. Many industries produce pollution through factory emissions, plastic waste, and the improper disposal of harmful materials. If
businesses
Use synonyms
 focus only on profit, they may ignore the environmental damage they cause.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
companies
Use synonyms
 should invest in cleaner technologies, recycling systems, and waste treatment facilities in order to reduce their negative impact.
This
Linking Words
 would help protect natural resources and create a healthier
environment
Use synonyms
 for future generations. Another important reason is that successful
businesses
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 are in a strong financial position to support society. Large corporations often earn substantial profits and can afford to invest in local communities through charitable donations, scholarships, and public services.
For example
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, some
companies
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 fund educational programs or provide training opportunities for young people. These initiatives can improve living standards and create more opportunities for disadvantaged groups. In conclusion,
although
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 making
profit
Correct article usage
a profit
show examples
 is essential for any business, I strongly believe that
companies
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 should
also
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fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 wider social responsibilities. By protecting the
environment
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 and supporting communities,
businesses
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 can contribute to long-term social and economic development.

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task response
For task response, your answer is clear and stays on the topic all the time. To reach a higher band, you can add one more strong idea or a more exact example.
task response
For task response, your opinion is strong and easy to see. This is good. But you can explain the other side a little more before you disagree with it.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear structure with introduction, body, and conclusion. This helps the reader follow your ideas easily.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your linking words are used well, such as 'however', 'therefore', and 'for example'. To improve more, use a wider range and make some links more natural.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each main point is in its own paragraph, which is good. To get a higher score, you can develop each paragraph a little more deeply.
task response
You answer the question fully and give a clear opinion from the start.
task response
Your main ideas are relevant and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well organized and very easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion clearly repeats your main view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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