IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people’s #lives
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many people think that the main purpose of science is to improve our
lives
Use synonyms
, but others think that science is not only about improving
lives
Use synonyms
. If we look at history the first inventions are some kind of curved rocks .And through deductive thinking, we can understand that it was made to hunt more easily. Through
millennials
Add a comma
millennials,
show examples
 people are inventing new
things
Use synonyms
 to make our routine more easier. Cars, washing machines and other
things
Use synonyms
 made by scholars made our routine much easier and no one can deny that,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
now we have much more time than our ancestors
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some inventions
such
Linking Words
 as atomic bombs and weapons and so on, as I think they do not benefit our routine.These
things
Use synonyms
conversely
Linking Words
 transform our routine into
nightmare
Add an article
a nightmare
show examples
 and I think there is no reason for inventing them.They caused so much harm and killed so many
routine
Change to a plural noun
routines
show examples
 to just fulfil someone's ego that wants power. In conclusion, I am strongly convinced that not all of the inventions improve our
lives
Use synonyms
. Inevitably there would be some
things
Use synonyms
 that harm or vice versa that benefit. So the purpose of the invention solely depended on the authors.If they want to save the world,they will do it.If they want to benefit their country, they will do it.
However
Linking Words
, a person who
not
Add a missing verb
does not
show examples
 consider the well-being of the whole world may merely destroy the whole world. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s
lives
Use synonyms
. To what extent do you agree or disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement?
Submitted by bolaterasyl085 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly supports your central thesis to create a more cohesive argument.
task achievement
Consider expanding on your examples to vividly illustrate your points.
task achievement
Include a clear introduction that frames the essay and introduces the main argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the beneficial and harmful aspects of scientific inventions.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your position and brings the essay to a satisfying close.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: