IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The best way to increase road transport safety is to make vehicle drivers take a driving test each year.To what extent do you agree/ disagree

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Safety in transportation is a highly popular topic
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the rise of accidents on the roads.Some people support that the best way to increase road transport safety is to make vehicle drivers take a driving
test
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 each year.Personally,
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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 disagree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 statement, which will
be show
Change the verb form
be shown

It appears that the form of the verb show does not work with be in this sentence.

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 in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 essay. On the one hand,there are several reasons why taking a driving
test
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 annually is not a good method in order to increase road transport.The first reason is that it causes
waste
Correct article usage
a waste

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 of time and
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. If
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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drivers book a driving
test
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 every year, they will have to pay a huge amount of
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 to pass their
test
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
which
Correct word choice
and

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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 they have to encounter many difficulties in order to save their
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Another reason is that
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 is useless for many
vehicles
Change the noun form
vehicle

Your sentence appears to use the incorrect form of vehicles. Consider changing it to singular.

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 owners, who are already familiar with all traffic rules.Taking a driving
test
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is only
waste
Correct article usage
a waste

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 of time for drivers who already have experience in controlling the situation and have
ability
Change the article
the ability

It appears that the noun ability is not preceded by the correct article. Consider changing the article.

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 to pass the
test
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
easy
Change the adjective
easily

The adjective easy is modifying pass instead of a noun or pronoun. Use an adverb to modify a verb, adjective, or other adverb.

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.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
government
Add an article
the government

The noun phrase government seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 should use
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 to invest
other
Change preposition
in other

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 areas in order to increase the safety
in
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 traffic.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places

It seems that place may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 have bad road conditions, appear many holes, which can cause
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents

It seems that accident may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.So these
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places

It seems that place may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 really need the government
invest
Add the particle
to invest

It appears that the verb invest should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

show examples
 .

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the clarity of your ideas by organizing them more effectively, possibly with clearer topic sentences for each paragraph.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to fully support your points, making your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Include a conclusion to summarize your arguments and positions clearly.
task achievement
Focus on more comprehensive ideas that cover both sides of the argument before concluding definitively.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction is effective in stating your position clearly on the topic, which helps set context for the rest of the essay.
supported main points
You have attempted to give reasons for your disagreement, which shows good engagement with the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • road transport safety
  • annual driving test
  • refreshing knowledge
  • road safety rules
  • reduce accidents
  • poor driving habits
  • improve driving practices
  • reckless driving
  • financial and logistical challenges
  • traffic violations
  • road infrastructure improvements
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