IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that the only purpose for anyone to learn a second language is to travel or work abroad. Others argue that this is not the only purpose why someone needs to learn a second language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

#people #purpose #anyone #second #language #travel #work #someone
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are many
people
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 who think the
purpose
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to learn
Change preposition
of learning
show examples
 a new
language
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 is to find
a new jobs
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a new job
new jobs
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 or to
travel
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 to many countries,
while
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 the other
think
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thinks
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 there are many
difference
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different
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reasons
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 and
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purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
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to learn
Change preposition
for learning
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 a
second
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language
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, I will discuss their opinions and what I think, I will set them out below.
To begin
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 with, the
people
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 who believe the
purpose
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to learn
Change preposition
of learning
show examples
 a
second
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language
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 is just to
to
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apply
show examples
travel
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 or
work
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, their
opinion
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 depending on their
experinces
Correct your spelling
experiences
experience
 so they
building
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
 their opinions on what they live and what
thet
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they
 see,
also
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may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
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 they believe the
work
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 and the
travel
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 can give
yhe
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the
people
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 the
motivaite
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motivation
 to learn
new
Add an article
a new
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language
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,
however
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, even if their opinions have some of right, that
dose
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does
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 not mean it is the only reason like they assume, it is one of the many
reasons
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 to learn
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
language
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,
also
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 maybe the
travel
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 one of the significant
purpose
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 to learn a
second
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language
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, but if we take it on
this
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 way
then
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 we should to learn many languages to
travel
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 because as we know there are many countries who do not speak English or our
language
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.
On the other hand
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, the others who argue
this
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opinion
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,
they
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apply
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believe
the
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apply
show examples
people
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 learn a new
language
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 for
a
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apply
show examples
many
reasons
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 and we can not
be limited
Wrong verb form
limit
show examples
 it to
work
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 and
travel
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, other than the first
opinion
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, they
showes
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show
 the
purpose
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to learn
Change preposition
of learning
show examples
 a new
language
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 on a wider scale, without limited it on two
reasons
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.
Morever
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Moreover
, we can not say all the
people
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 on the
plant
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planet
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 have the same
purpose
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 to learn a new
language
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. In conclusion, In our era we have many
reasons
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 to learn a new
language
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, there are
people
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 who want to learn a
second
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language
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 to make
a
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apply
show examples
new
friendes
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friends
friend
 from the other
countires
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countries
while
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the
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apply
show examples
others want to learn it to watch
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
movies or to
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
understand
the
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apply
show examples
music or to read
a books
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a book
books
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, and
that is
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 just
for instance
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, there are a lot
purpose
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 to learn a new
language
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, I tend to agree with the
second
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opinion
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, even if they want to learn a new
language
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 to
travel
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 or
work
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 or make relationships or for games or study,
what ever
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whatever
show examples
 the
purpose
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 or the
reasons
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, it
dependse
Correct your spelling
depends
 on their dream or goal,
for example
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, I learn
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
English to read the books and to complete my study aboard, so the reason not because the
work
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 or
travel
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by atheer on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the task, discussing both perspectives and offering your own opinion. However, try to develop your ideas in more detail to fully address the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Ensure ideas and arguments are organized logically. At times, there’s a lack of clear transitions between points, which can confuse the reader.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your ideas. This will make your argument more convincing and relatable to the reader.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay and presents a clear personal opinion, which is an important aspect of the task.
task achievement
You present both perspectives as requested in the task prompt, showing a balanced analysis.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets the context for the discussion, outlining the key issues effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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