Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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Some
people
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argue that local authorities should have
access
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to citizens' mobile calls and
messages
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for safety.
However
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, I believe our activity on gadgets should stay private because individuals have rights, and government-held
data
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can be hacked.
Firstly
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, personal call records should remain private to protect freedom of speech. No one should fear punishment for sharing opinions, even if they criticize local governments.
For example
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, social networks
such
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as Telegram prioritize user privacy, protecting
people
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not only from hackers but
also
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from government surveillance.
Secondly
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, government
data
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is at high risk of being hacked, making it unsafe to store so much information about every citizen. If hackers
access
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this
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data
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, they could use it to break into
people
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’s bank accounts and social media profiles.
This
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risk increases as
people
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often share sensitive information,
such
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as passwords, in private
messages
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with family or friends. Some
people
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argue that allowing governments to monitor
messages
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could help prevent crime or terrorism.
However
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, distinguishing between real threats and casual jokes or misunderstandings is challenging. Innocent citizens might be unfairly targeted or even punished
due to
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misinterpretations, leading to unnecessary stress and legal issues. In conclusion,
while
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government
access
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to personal
messages
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may help in identifying some dangerous individuals, it risks breaching basic human rights and increases the likelihood of
data
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hacks.
Therefore
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, local authorities should not have
access
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to personal calls and chats, as privacy and
data
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security are crucial in today’s digital world.
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task achievement
Consider expanding on the example of platforms like Telegram by elaborating on why users trust them more than government-access systems. This would strengthen the argument for privacy.
task achievement
Ensure that the reasons against government access are deeply explored, such as providing more details on how data breaches could affect citizens' lives. This adds depth to the discussion.
task achievement
The essay presents a well-balanced discussion, effectively addressing both perspectives on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is clear, with a strong introduction and conclusion that reiterate the main stance on protecting privacy.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph clearly supports the main arguments with relevant points, maintaining a smooth flow throughout the essay.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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