Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They felt that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time?
It is often argued that children can perform
such
activities which are effective for their mental as well as
physical growth. Some individuals think that children have much leisure time which can be consumed by doing extra academic tasks. But I strongly believe that they could participate in different healthy activities rather than just studying constantly. I would like to enlighten my views in the next paragraphs.
Life is meaningless without challenges as well as
entertainment. Students can take part in outdoor sports besides
their studies on daily
basis. As we know, Games are useful for their physical and mental stability, and they can enhance their fundamental skills like courage, teamwork and consistency. Correct article usage
a daily
For instance
, the pupils who contribute in
extracurricular activities would attain good marks in their exams as well. They feel Change preposition
to
extraordinary
energetic and focus on their goals because they would be able to complete different tasks at the same time. By providing Change the word
extraordinarily
such
an environment, we would be able to boost their confidence to tackle obstacles in their life.
Furthermore
, they can also
spend their spare time in library
to study historical books, so they Add an article
the library
a library
would
discover the history cultures and traditions of their forefathers. Reading is essential for the Verb problem
can
well
development of our thoughts and ideas, Change the adverb
good
therefore
, teenagers should study such
books which are beneficial for their grooming. They get to know Fix the agreement mistake
apply
that
how to behave as a good human being Correct word choice
apply
among
Change preposition
in
the
society.
In conclusion, Correct article usage
apply
Although
educational tasks are crucial for students for achieving
good scores in their studies, it is Change preposition
to achieve
also
worth considering to encourage their personal interests in different fields.Submitted by kamiawan3233 on
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow by organizing your points more clearly and logically. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, and the ideas should connect clearly from one to the next.
task achievement
Try to use more relevant and specific examples to enhance your arguments. While the current examples are good, they could be more diverse and detailed.
task achievement
Clarify ideas and express them more precisely. Some arguments are a bit vague or general and could benefit from clearer explanation.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining the main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
You presented supported main points well, particularly discussing the benefits of physical and mental activities for children.
task achievement
You showed a balanced view by acknowledging the importance of educational tasks alongside personal interests.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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